25 March 2014 @ 10:38 pm


Woohoo! Finally got some time to update again! I had a pretty good pace going so I'm gonna try and get back on track. So what's new in Almassyland? Well, there are seven kids in the house and it's driving me nuts! Frey gave birth to the majority of them (alien quadruplets!) so in accordance with my Everything Is Frey's Fault™ policy, feel free to judge him for it for the rest of the update.



But hey, maybe things aren't all that bad in the Almassy house! It helps when Leon actually plays nice with the alien kids and miraculously keeps them busy for a hour.



And he's totally just as much of a suck-up to his parents as Noel is! What a cutie!



Pluto: HELP! I'm illiterate :(
Leon: Excuse me, don't listen to him. Did HE just run in here and hug you?
Now now, boys! There's plenty of parental supervision to go around for everybody! Probably.



Celeste: I'M HUNGRY! MY LIFE SUCKS! I HATE EVERYONE!!
Orion: *smile smile smile*
Quiz time! Can YOU point out the good kid in this picture?



Madrine: Heya, Celeste! Here's your bottle! Because the social services keep threatening to show up!



I don't know. I'd be more concerned about the fly colony thriving off the children.



In what's sure to be a really stupid idea on my part, I'm throwing a small birthday party for the alien kidlets! Time for MASSIVE CAKE ORGY



Liam don't care tho! He's too preoccupied with creepy crotch stretches.



Not to mention fighting with Emily, the OTHER thing that never gets old for him.
Celeste: Whatever.



Wow, good job, Noel! You kicked the garbage can over! You're really sticking it to the world, there.



HOW DID I GET SO LUCKY TO HAVE THE BEST SPARES EVER <3



Alright, birthday time is officially underway! Let's see how long everyone can pay attention before trying to eat four cakes at once.



Driver: HONK HONK HOOOOOOOONK HONKHONK HONK
Background music lovingly supplied by the carpool driver, who beeped his horn at the party guests for two hours before Liam and Indra finally went to work.



Orion: Look, everybody! I'm growing up!
Everybody: *does not give a shit*



Every single quad grew up horribly, whoops. Hey man, I'm only one person! I can't make all your little dreams come true all at the same time. Take some initiative.



So here we have: Celeste and Pluto!



And Pavo and Orion! ...Orion?



Orion: *snore*
Awww...it's okay, Orion! Cake comas happen to the best of us.



Orion: I've fallen and I can't get up. :(



Celeste: ORION TOOK MY SPOT IN BED WAH WAH BITCH CRY



Why don't you just go sleep on the top bunk?
Celeste: NO I'M JUST GONNA SLEEP HERE AS UNCOMFORTABLY AS POSSIBLE



The birthday party sucked. Not that that was surprising to anyone.



Orion: OH NO MY PARTY WAS AWFUL!
Rocio: Maybe next time you should have some bumpin' music! That would help!
Lies, Rocio! You only want music so you can grind all over your dance partners again.



Celeste: Who the fuck said my party was bad? I will kill them. KILL THEM.



Celeste: DAMN I'M SCARY
Don't worry, we know.



Madrine and Joseph: oooh i love you honeybunch tee hee smooch smooch
Sam: *soaking in poop*
D'awwwww aren't you two so cute OH PLEASE DON'T HAVE ANY MORE CHILDREN



Celeste decided not to go to school and I was too lazy to forcibly drag her there, so she gets to stay at home today. I'm still trying to make sure that she and the other kids become SOMEWHAT successful people though!



I think it was for the best that she didn't go because LOOK HOW MANY DAMN KIDS EVERYONE BROUGHT HOME!



Orion: Who knew that having a mass smustle cult could be so much FUN!
But poor Orion is not a very good dancer. :( This kid is just uncoordinated as hell.



Girl: Come on, keep dancing! ONE OF US! ONE OF US!
Orion: OH NO I COULDN'T POSSIBLY D:



Frey: Woah hold on guys, time to make way for the master of smustle.
Orion: *continues to fail*
Showing up some eight year old kids at a dance party? Sounds like Frey.



I feel a little bad because I hardly mentioned Pavo at all in the last update. He's basically the sweet precious baby of the quads, absolutely chock-full of nice points but shy as can be. The other kids don't really play with him much and he's not a giant flailing asshole, so it can be hard to get lots of pictures of him.



Oh, and remember Sam? He still sucks! No change there.



Somehow he had a happy toddlerhood and actually grew up nicely. No idea how THAT happened.



Okay, so, Sam's pretty adorable and I still can't get over his random Luke eyes. Buuuut that's about all I like about him. This is basically all he does:



Computer games! All day! EVERY DAY! If you can't find Sam, chances are that he's glued to the one computer in the whole house so no one else can use it.



Man, I don't know why, but I'm holding out hope that all the kids this generation will get along with each other. I really shouldn't, considering my track record with this. Plus the kids are having some hoooooorribly bratty mood swings.



Celeste: HELLLL~~LOOOOOOO! He's standing right in front of the door and I need to go to BED!
PROBLEM: Celeste is tired.
MY SOLUTION: Go to sleep in bed two feet away.



HER SOLUTION: MURDER ALL OBSTACLES IN YOUR PATH! BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!



LMAO gurl you suck. That fight was over in literally five seconds.



Frey might be sleeping with his dad's ex-wife, but that doesn't mean he can't still climb into bed with daddy! *barf*



Rocio: HURK :D
Are you just now realizing that your half-brother and your mom are like two love-stricken puppies? Get with the times, Rocio. This news is like a month old already!







Also in old news: tales of Violet and Guy's fighting is STILL being passed around like it's a freaking ancient legend.





Check out Noel the ladykiller! It is SO weird to have a kid who actually gets along with people. I've been waiting EIGHT GENERATIONS FOR YOU!



Pavo: Hey, wanna play together?
Leon: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK NO
Unlike these assholes here. Can't you at least pretend to be nice?



Pavo: b-b-but whyyyyyyy? D:
I told you nobody likes to play with Pavo! They can just feel the suck radiating from him.



HI PLEASE DO NOT SWING YOUR GRANDCHILD AROUND ON THE ROOF, THANK YOU



Leon: Woah! Nice ass...teroid.
Are you actually stargazing? I don't believe you.



AHAHAHAHA! Whenever Liam sees Celeste having a tantrum, he just gives her this SUUUUUUPER bitchy face until she stops.



If you remember what Liam was like when HE was a kid, it's even funnier. It's not so nice being on the receiving end, is it?



Liam: You know what you're really good at? Being alive. Nice job!
PUMPIN' UP DAT SELF-ESTEEM



Liam: Don't you know that bad little kids get visited by the Axe Fairy?
Hmmmm, I don't know if that approach will work any better...



Celeste: SHADDUP GRANDPA, I DO WHAT I WANT



Like beating up Orion, perhaps?
Celeste: DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!



Orion may be a big softy, but he knows how to defend himself! And getting cheered on by both Rocio and Julia doesn't hurt, either (lol).



Orion: :DDDD
Celeste: DDDD:
Dang, that's two for two asskickings there. Quit while you're behind, Celeste!



Celeste: Pavo, would you be mad if Orion mysteriously died and became a ghost?
Pavo: NO TIME TO TALK, GOTTA GO TO SCHOOOOOOOL~ *flounce*



But guess who ISN'T going to school today. Little brat.



Here's your obligatory 'Frey is depressed' picture of the update! He's pretty hard to fulfill wants for, considering he basically sabotages himself.



Oh look, Liam and Indra are fighting AGAIN. Go on, Frey! Fight for her honor! That'll make you happy!



Frey: MAN IT'S SO HOT WHEN YOU AND DAD SLAP EACH OTHER
SIGH



First I was fed up with family sims, then with romance sims, and now it's sloppy sims. Why does this game love giving me messy bastards?



It's giving both me AND Mr. Neat Freak here a conniption, seriously.



Celeste and Liam: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!
ehehehehe oh man this will NEVER get old



Alright, road trip time! Everybody into the car! I don't even know how eight people can cram themselves into this car but they manage. I bet they stick Frey into the trunk.



And our destination is the local lake, which unsurprisingly was made by [profile] alexxschmidt. I promise I have a reason for being here!



...Okay, it's not a GOOD reason or anything, but Frey wanted to go fishing and it was an easy and non-stupid want of his I could finally fill. See, sometimes I DO take care of my sims!



FISHTOPIAAAAAAAAAA, WHERE THE TROUT HERDS ROAM FREEEEEEEEEEEEEE~



Pavo still wants to make friends instead of fishing. Good fucking luck, pal.



Orion: I CAN'T GO FISHING, MY HOROSCOPE TODAY WAS TERRIBLE!



Orion: Excuse me, can I steal all your fish when you're done? *puppy dog eyes*
Lady: Yeahhhh... no. I don't think so.



That's a shame, considering Frey can't even catch one stupid fish. Impromptu fishing trip: success?



Leon: OH MY GOD GRANDPA ASS
And you expected something else to be there when you just waltzed into the shower??



Leon: Never be clean! Never be clean!



Pavo: Pssst, wanna hear a secret about Pluto?
Orion: What is it?!



Pavo: Don't tell anyone, but... HE GREW UP!! EHEHEHEHEHE
Orion: HEHEHEHEHE
This is what passes for juicy gossip around here? Really?



Hey! Hey, did you know Celeste sucks at school? Did you? Maybe you don't! But don't worry, I'll let you know every single hour how terrible she's doing. No need to thank me!



I'm banning that stupid birthday cake for the time being so Leon and Noel can just grow up alone and LIKE it! Leon's only witness is Orion, who laughs at his insta-puberty. What a sweet child.



And Noel's only birthday guest is the complete joke of self-worth he has. Thanks to this he now has a whopping zero aspiration points saved up. O_O



Leon: Hey Noel! Happy bir--
Noel: SHUT UP AND TASTE MY IMPOTENT PUBERTY RAGE.



Leon: Baaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwww!
Noel: Whistle whistle! Nothing happened here!
That's a fifty point penalty for fighting, but I'm giving ten points back for pretending like you're innocent!



Excuse me lady, why the hell are you randomly mad?



Leon: *starestarestarestare*
oh well that might explain a lot



Joseph: WOOP WOOP MANTIES ALERT
These two love to eat at the dinner table half-naked. YOU GUYS ARE BEEFY AND CHESTY. I GET IT.



Okay Liam, I have bad news...



...some of your ballet fans have shown up outside the house and I can't get them to leave. Can you kick them out for me?
Grim Reaper: HA! Nice try.



Oh, I'm sorry, Noel. Is your grandfather's death inconveniencing you??



Pavo: N-N-NOOOOOOOOOOO!
This was pretty much me the whole time. I hate hate HATE having to let my heirs go! D:



Bye Liam, you ass-kicking, ballet-dancing, bigamy-flaunting, fork-stabbing, marriage-ruining bastard. You were just too good for this world!



Noel: I wonder what's for dinner.
Pluto: LOL BYE GRANDPA!
Liam: THANKS FOR NOT GIVING A SHIT, LATERS



Oh my god, this money is definitely easing my pain. Liam left the family almost THIRTY THOUSAND DOLLARS when he died. I LOVE YOU LIAM!



Look Georgia, Liam became the ballerina you always wanted to be but failed miserably at!
Georgia: *dgafs*



Indra's finally home and she brought... Candace with her?



Indra: To celebrate Liam finally shuffling off to the depths of hell, I'm throwing a party. I even brought my own entertainment!
Candace: Oh, I am DONE being the butt of all your crappy clown jokes. Don't think I won't eat your brains.



Well, that's great and all, but now that Liam's dead, can you finally stop spite-sexing Frey? It's really creepy.
Indra: Nah, I think I'll just regular-sex him from now on.
WHY. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME.



Indra: THIS IS. THE BEST DAY. OF MY LIIIIIIIFE!



Candace: This gig isn't so bad. At least they have a hot tub.
Don't you know what she was just doing in that thing?! You know what, that's it. Update's over! Everyone go home! Hot tub's closed!

-------------------------------------------

I keep reading TS4 news and... and I'm actually getting EXCITED! God help me. I really don't want to give money to EA for sims shit anymore (especially since every iteration becomes Spending $400 On Expansion Packs: The Game) but I also want to play something other than TS2 and TS3 never really got a hold of me. Thankfully it's still a year before we even see the release so that's plenty of time to talk myself into/out of buying it!
 
 
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