Man, even the decorative artwork is getting aggressive. The Almassy Fighting Spirit lives ooooooooon! Last time, living with seven children = still absolutely terrible. Honorable mentions go to Celeste and Noel as the worst of the pack! Liam finally went off to the Great Heir Bonanza in the Sky, which Indra celebrated with a combo hot tub/zombie clown party.



Rotten egg salad for breakfast? I should be mad but hey, at least the kids are getting fed for once.



Noel: I THOUGHT PANCAKES WERE A MYTH!! I LOVE YOU GRANDMA



Noel and Leon kinda hit a rough patch in their friendship, but apparently they've decided to smooth things over by getting down and dancing in the kitchen!



Pluto: WOAH WOAH WOAH, THE HELL IS THIS



What? Doesn't everyone bump and grind with their bro??



Pavo: You like dancing? I LOVE dancing! please please dance with me pleeeeeeease
Leon: NO WAY YOU LITTLE GREMLIN



Noel: NO YOU CAN ONLY DANCE WITH MEEEEEEEE! DIE
sigh.



Of course, Celeste can't miss an opportunity to egg on their brawl. These three are the worst-behaved out of everyone and having them in a room together is like a freaking powderkeg.



Celeste: You don't think I can kick ass like Noel? OH I'LL SHOW YOU



YOU WON??? I call shenanigans.



Celeste: DA FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT
Frey: *ignores children like usual*



Orion: Oh wow, you won ONCE. I've kicked your butt FIVE TIMES ALREADY! Wanna make it six?!
Celeste: :DDDDDDD



Celeste: Do you want me to shove this car up your ass? Because I'll do it.



GET OFF OF THE COMPUTER YOU FUCKING NECKBEARD CHILD!



OMG ACTUAL HUMAN INTERACTION! There's hope for Sam.



Noel: Did you know that I have friends? Best friends, even. I know, sounds impossible, but I am just that cool.
Oh, she doesn't think that's impressive? Maybe she should take a look at his other family members first.



I forgot that I never married Madrine and Joseph but since they haven't fucked up their relationship yet, they might as well tie the knot!



Madrine: I HOPE YOU LIKE MY ROMANTIC PROPOSAL BY THE TREADMILL ♥
Joseph: Awwwwwww!



AWWWWWWW YEAH LENS FLARE, CHECK IT



Okay, I didn't even SEE the matchmaker come drop this thing off. Now she's transcending space and time to give me stupid shit.



Pavo... WHY are you so obsessed with being Leon's friend? He sucks AND he doesn't even like you.
Pavo: No no just watch, this will SURELY impress him!



Pavo: AAAAAHHHHH OW OW OH GOD
Leon: Booooooooooooo!
Well that ended exactly how I expected it to.



Pavo has one person who likes him though! And that person is... Celeste. LOL.



Pavo: REALLY BITCH, OMELETTES???
TEN NICE POINTS. TEN. REMEMBER?



If there's one amusing thing about Celeste's neverending fighting, it's that she just launches straight into attempted homicide and never even bothers with slapping or pushing.



Too bad that never works in her favor!



I see you crying in the baby room! FOR BABIES! Loser!



So the next day, I stuff everyone into their finest frockery for Madrine and Joseph's wedding.



I thought it would be cute for them to have a beach ceremony but then I realized that I couldn't drag all the wedding guests there with them. Soooooo a shitty backyard wedding it is!



The pre-ceremony entertainment of Incest™ is provided by Rocio and Aaron, one of Liam's cousins. Thanks guys!



AAAAAAAHHHH YOU DORKS LOOK SO CUTE! ♥



Most of the wedding party decided to stay inside and eat ham sandwiches so the wedding was kinda underwhelming. >:(



But it was still ADORABLE! Ugh, sorry for getting all gushy but I looooove this picture. Madrine is damn beautiful.



Wendy: *SEETHES*
Oh really, Wendy? Don't make me regret inviting your irrelevant ass.



Pavo: I've got some good dirt on your dad... wanna hear?
Sam: YES YES



Pavo: He just got married! To your mom!!
Sam: NO. WAY.
SHUT UP PAVO! You have the stupidest gossip in the world!



AGAIN? What is this witchcraft? Everyone else seems to like Celeste winning for once though, so I guess I'll let it slide!



WHOOPS GOTTA PAUSE THE ASSKICKIN' FOR BIRFDAYS



Birthdays must be really overstimulating for Orion or something, because he just faints all over the place afterwards.



Celeste, however, officially upgrades to ~BITCHKILLA STATUS~



Her first target? Leon! For absolutely no reason.



Leon and Celeste: *SLAPPITY SLAPPITY SLAP*
Madrine: :DDDDDD



Madrine: Wow, you grew up into such a wonderful young lady!
Celeste: WRONG, I'M HARD AS FUCK



Meanwhile, Sam presumably starved to death or something because I don't care enough to feed him. Whoops!



Anyways, the alien kidlets are FINALLY grown! Look how happy and well-adjusted they are!
Pluto: God, I hate this family.



On Team Alien Eyes: Orion and Pluto. And ooooh man, did they turn out well! Orion got Pleasure/Fortune while Pluto is of the Knowledge/Fortune persuasion.



And on Team Human Eyes: Pavo and Celeste! Pavo's now sporting some Awkward Face-Disguising Hair and the Family/Fortune aspirations, and Celeste raided the closet of a ten year old and rolled Family/Pleasure. (DAMN, that is a lot of fortune secondary asps!)



Celeste: Woah. Arm's length away, buddy.
Come on. This is PAVO! You actually LIKE him!





Whatever. Anyway, as you've probably noticed I'm horrendously biased when it comes to the alien kids. I love Orion and Celeste the most and I don't really give a crap about Pavo or Pluto, oops. They're not bad... just kinda boring.



Like, look at Noel. All he cares about is picking up chicks and maybe being an aggressive nutjob!



Or Leon! Who I love because he just fails so, so much.



Polo Shirt: REALLY? SOLICITING SEX FROM ME IN FRONT OF THE SCHOOL BUS DRIVER? REAL SMOOTH.



Leon: No wait, I have to show you my sexy grinding skills first! Wanna dance?
Polo Shirt: GOD NO THIS IS EVEN WORSE SOMEHOW



That's cool! Leon's just gonna grind all over his cousin like cool guys do!!



Pavo: BUT WHY DON'T YOU WANNA PLAY RED HANDS???
I don't know, Pavo. You ask him this same exact thing 3084782 times and he always refuses. GET THE HINT.



Celeste: Oooh, he's CUTE!
Wow, there's someone that Celeste DOESN'T want to kill?



She starts flirting with him all on her own. And he even LIKES IT! Damn! I'm kinda shocked that for the most part everyone might actually be successful in the romance department.



Pavo: teeheeheeheehee!
Polo Shirt: teeheehee!
Even Pavo's scoring with... Polo Shirt?!



Maybe Leon should take some tips from Pavo, 'cause HE'S not the one giving some babe in a swimsuit a rub-down.



Celeste: Technically I'm from outer space. I bet I'd really know my way around URANUS EHEHEHEHEHEHE
Wow, that's definitely gonna land him!



Leon: I SENSE CELESTE'S HAPPINESS AND THAT SHALL NOT STAND
Celeste: OH SHIT ABORT ABORT



Celeste: Great job, I was JUST about to get into his pants too.
Probably not, but okay. So how does Celeste plan to fix this slight?



By attempting to murder him! Which fails miserably after Leon kicks her ass up and down the patio. Sorry that you suck so bad.



Pavo: YOU DRY-HUMPED ME YET YOU STILL WON'T PLAY RED HANDS? I THOUGHT I MEANT SOMETHING TO YOU.
GET OVER IT



Fae alert! It's that time for her to show up again. Man, she's been hanging around since Violet was a teen.



Oh and she's still an asshole, not much else is new.



But Celeste doesn't care, seeing as how she's found one whole person who likes her!



Celeste: awwww yeah wanna mack baby
Pearson: YES YES YES!



LOL Pavo. Overjoyed by his sister's lovelife I see.



Remember that genie lamp? I decided to not immediately pawn it for cash and I dumped it outside instead. Orion was the first one to roll a want to use it so he gets first dibs!



Genie: IT IS I, MAGICAL FLOATING PURPLE TORSO MANNNNNN!
Orion: :O



Orion: I wish to be BEAUTIFUL! :D
Hmmm, I don't necessarily trust the genie, especially because he was a great big useless asshole in TS1, buuuut I'll try my luck with giving Orion magical sexiness.



Can't you wish for world peace or something with the genies in TS3? I'd love to have that in this game. Imagine one whole day where everyone calls a truce!



'Cause the way things are like, that will NEVER happen!
Celeste: EAT SHIT AND DIE, BOWLCUT



Celeste: BITCH I'M MORE KAWAII DESU THAN YOU'LL EVER BE
Omg, don't do that with your eyes... please stop... D8



AND ON NEXT WEEK'S EPISODE OF "EVERYONE HATES CELESTE"



Cornrows here decided he wanted a piece of Pluto, but Pluto just wasn't having it.



Cornrows: HEY POPS, CAN YOU TELL YOUR SON TO PUT OUT FOR ME, THANKS



Look dude, neither Frey nor Orion have anything to do with Pluto not wanting to diddle you so can we please stop harassing them??



Oooooooh, what's this?



OHHHHH THREE BOLTS. The genie magic works! I don't even care that this is temporary, having three bolts is maaaaagical. Well, I gotta end here but next time is gonna be a good update, I can feel it. Plus it might even have... the heir poll? ~eyebrow waggle~



Sam: Hey, good news! I'm not dead after all! And now I've got these SWEET GUNZ!
Damnit Sam, it's the end of the update! Way to interrupt me! Anyways, Sammy here rolled Popularity and Family, and got redheads and... plantsims as turn-ons. PLANT-FUCKER! Okay, now update's over.

-------------------------------------------

AAAAAGHGHFGFHGFJ SO BUSY LATELY. It's a good, productive busy so I can't complain too much about it. It has made me pretty quiet on LJ though. Plus I've been pretty slow with responding to comments, sorry! It's really looking like the next update could be heir poll time though! I have to finish up some more playing to be sure. So until then... see ya! And thanks for reading! 8D
 
 
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