25 March 2014 @ 10:40 pm


HAPPY NEW YEAR! I live! What the hell, 2013 went by WAY too fast. I haven't played much lately but I am bringing you all of uni crammed into one update! Probably not the most interesting update in the world... but I'm just ready to get back to the main house! almost to gen 9!!! hoo rah hoo rah!

Last time: Fae finally weasled her way into the Almassy household by dating Orion, which Indra celebrated by dying. Celeste was just bananas and became a runaway, and although the police found her in five seconds, they couldn't even arrest the guy who came to rob the house. Later the kiddos went to college, where CANHEAD DIED. D:



There was also the heirpoll! Unfortunately, Madrine's kids totally bombed in it. :( Leon was the most popular of the three, probably by virtue of being the least boring.



As for Frey's kids, Pluto got a whopping... ZERO VOTES! LOL. I don't think that's happened since the very first heir poll with Helle! Pavo actually snagged third place which kinda surprised me.



But the winner winner chicken dinner of the heir poll was... Orion!
Orion: GASP!
Not all that surprising if you saw the poll results, WOW. Orion just demolished the whole thing.



Which means that my other baby isn't coming back to the main house. ;O; I specifically told myself that I wasn't gonna do two double heirships in a row so Celeste has gotta stay in second place. I still love her way too much though!



Orion: WELL, I DON'T. WHAT AN ASSHOLE
Celeste's Hair: *shits on the laws of gravity*



Oh, and here's something I forgot: this cow mascot is STILL IN PAVO'S ROOM. STILL.



Pavo: Pissing all over yourself in a cow suit? I'm questioning your life choices.



Well, he won't have to for very long!



Pavo: GOD, YOUR DYING IS INTERRUPTING MY BEAUTY SLEEP



Pavo: CAN SOMEONE MOVE THIS SMELLY CORPSE OUT OF MY ROOM?? THANKS.
I bet the cow mascot is so glad she picked sweet, sensitive Pavo's room to die in!



Hi Fae! What did Knight ever do to YOU? Well, in any case, she's not here just to sass random dormies.



She's here for some celebratory photobooth sex, of course! Congrats on picking the right Almassy kid to shack up with!



AWWW YEAH, BASK IN THAT GLORIOUS HEIR DICK



These two are just one of those sim couples that you can never stop taking pictures of and fawning over.



Orion: Can't you just FEEL the heirship radiating from me? What are you gonna do about it??
Don't push your luck, buddy. There's been plenty of heirs who get their asses kicked on a daily basis.



And now for...
Fun Things That Make Fae Mad:
1) Celeste
2) Pool?
3) POOL!!!!!!!



Fae: WHY DO YOU FORSAKE ME, POOL GODS?
She fails every pool trick and for whatever reason this makes her want to hulk out. I know, it's hard living in the shadow of Rocio the Pool God.



Fae: POOL GODS, I OFFER CELESTE TO YOU AS A VIRGIN SACRIFICE



Uhhhh, I think that's no longer the case after her skeevy photobooth romp with Random Date Guy. Anyways, PLACE YOUR BETS FOR THE FAE VS. CELESTE BOUT OF THE YEAR!



DAMNIT, FAE! You're lucky I can't actually bet on this! I'd be living under a bridge in a refrigerator box!



Fae: Did... did that just happen? Oh my god. O_O



Orion: don't you worry my little schnuggle wuggle honey bunches of oats
Celeste: EUGH.



Okay, I really, really love this dorm, but I'm growing so tired of it. The lag is the worst part; there's probably around twenty-five sims farting about on the lot at any given time and it's sooooooo slooooooow to play. Not to mention that a good half of that number are engaging with constant warfare with each other so everyone is always distracted by MOAR FIGHT.



I mean, someone fucking DIED in the middle of a brawlorama and nobody cared.



Hey, that's Mr. Indoor Sunglasses! D: Gone too soon...



So I'm getting Orion (and only Orion) the hell out of there! I don't know why house searching earns me some 'wtf m8?' look from him but maybe he should be more grateful.



Everyone: OMG OMG PLEASE DON'T LEAVE US HERE!!
LOL BYE ASSHOLES.



Celeste: >:(
Okay, I'm kinda sad about leaving Celeste. Bye gurl. :(



Oh wait, one more thing before I go...



CANHEAD LIVES



Orion's new dorm (Sur's Dorm by YanderePlum) is like the exact opposite of the old one: there's only enough room for five whole dormmates! But man, it runs like a DREAM.



And of course, I've gotta drag Fae's ass here too.



Fae: NO TIME FOR PHOTO OPS. MUST PLAY POOL.
We're not even gonna talk to anybody? Okay.



Fae: If that cheerleader doesn't shut up, I will cue her in the face.
See? Rage problems! Who gets that mad every time they play pool?



Miss Trick Shot Master managed to launch the cue ball straight off the table and presumably out the second story window onto somebody's head. Good job!



Cheerleader: WHOOO!! DROWN YOUR SORROWS IN HEAVY CREAM!!
Fae: That's it, I'm getting the cue stick.



Anyways, onto things that are NOT Fae... cough I was pleasantly surprised to see that all the extra dormies that moved in were girls. Alright, unintentional female-only dorm! (i'm counting Orion as an honorary girl, shhhhh)



Speaking of Orion, his attempts at friend-making are going... not well. Makes sense though, because he seems to think that the New and Not Dead Cow Mascot is a terrific choice to pal up with. This guy turned on the asshole switch surprisingly fast!



Orion: I-I-I JUST WANTED TO BE HIS FRIEND BUT HE WAS SO RUDE, HE WAS GONNA RUB HIS UDDERS ALL OVER ME WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH



Fae: EXCUSE ME. NO TEARS ALLOWED, I AM TRYING TO ~CONCENTRATE~ HERE



Hey kids! Are you tired of using that boring old controller, with all of those pesky buttons and sticks? Now introducing: NEW! DIRTY PLATE WIRELESS EDITION! Everything you love about about a regular controller, except replaced with old, smelly food!



I don't even know how Orion managed this one. I think the controllers were also glitched as plates but I ended up selling the thing afterward so I didn't test it. Probably for the best, I don't need any randos running over to come lick the console. >:(



But hey, at least he's having fun! at the expense of the laws of reality



Orion: HEY! You wanna play too? I'm sure there's an old pot of mac and cheese in the kitchen!
Dormie: *IGNORE IGNORE IGNORE*



Orion: B-BUT I DON'T WANNA CLEAN UP MY CONTROLLER :(
Poor Orion. Life is unfair. *eagle tear*



Dormie: I bet your dish controller was a product of your SECRET ALIEN POWERS!!



Right, because Orion is going to take the guy who looks like he slept on a lawnmower seriously.





So guess which major Orion rolled a want for? DRAMA!! Finally! I've been waiting this whole time for the drama professor. Obviously this is a great decision on my part with no future repercussions whatsoever!



Oh man, remember those wacky days in college when the athletics department staff would break into your dormroom to harass you while you had sex? Good times!



New Coach: YOU CALL THOSE BEDROOM EYES, SON??? IF I TOOK MY SUNGLASSES OFF, I COULD MAKE ALL THE WOMEN IN A TEN MILE RADIUS ORGASM



New Coach: FUCK CELESTE
Oh, okay then. That nicely caps off your completely nonsensical visit.



Need some time to figure out what the hell just happened? Don't worry, I totally understand.



Fae: FUCK CELESTE
But at least Fae agrees with the coach on something!



You wouldn't think it, but the dormies in this place actually piss me off MORE than in any other dorm we've been to. One big problem is that since dormies can't make their own food, I'm personally responsible for feeding them. Plus, despite actually having enough beds and showers and toilets for once, these idiots STILL manage to pass out and piss everywhere.



And one of them still even starved to death! How did any of them even survive before coming to college??



Awwww, a male dormie? Way to ruin my unofficial dorm clambake, jerk.



I moved Dead Dormie's urn into his room, just so he knows what to look forward to here!



Dormie: I AM APPALLED BY THIS SHAMELESS DISPLAY OF AFFECTION



Fae: Welcome to the dorm! How about an unsolicited hug?
Dormie: UHHH PERSONAL SPACE, PERSONAL SPACE!
Breaking into his room and cornering him is an excellent introduction! Good job Fae!



Fae: Oh, okay then. Let's talk about sex instead, that's a better idea.
..........................



Excuse me bitch, are you trying to gas my heir with your noxious fart cloud?



Cow: NO WAY IT WASN'T ME, IT WAS TOTALLY HIM!
Orion: Oh no! No, it wasn't! I'm being FRAMED!
I wish I could say I feel bad for him, but he gets pranked by the cow mascot every day and he's still surprised every time, soooooo....



Fae: EHEHEHEHE OOH YOU PRANKSTERS ARE SO HOT
Trying to pick up Fae is a new one, though!



Orion: OH HELL NO I'M NOT EVEN LOOKING AT THIS



Oh Sassy Orion, you're the best ♥



Towards the end of their last year (told you this was gonna be quick), I noticed one of the dormies start to give these stinkfaces to Fae whenever they were in the same room together.



Then one time when Orion came home from class, she dropped everything she was doing so she could run over at mach speed to hug him. BOY THAT'S NOT SUSPICIOUS AT ALL!



Fivehead: Oh Orion, I'm so glad you're home! Did you know that I think about you at all possible times??????



Yes thank you, Mr. Fucking Annoying Cow Mascot, for breaking that up. But ohhhh no no no, like this was gonna stop Fivehead.



'Cause later, I almost zipped past them sucking face right in the middle of the kitchen! WHY!!



Orion: It's so hot when you pull your ponytail back too tight and you look like you have a receding hairline! ♥
Noooooooooo! I had hope in you, Orion!!



Fivehead: Oh, hi Fae! I was just thinking about your boyfriend's soft lips. Wonderful, luscious, soft lips...
Fae: *entranced by her dinner plate of baby poop or something*



Creeper: I heard you were handing out freebies to all the dorm girls? SIGN ME UP!
Orion: No, I'm sorry, your forehead isn't NEARLY large enough.



Creeper: WHAT???!!!! HOW DARE YOU REJECT ME



Do you not know the meaning of 'NO'??? Holy shit, woman.



Fivehead: Don't worry, I'm fine with just watching!
NO, YOU GO AWAY TOO.



Oh yeah, and there was still studying and crap blah blah blah boring.



Hey, at least they both graduated instead of dropping out like I wanted to make them do!



Pavo: Hey, we're here for Orion's graduation party?
Fivehead: SORRY CAN'T MOVE, FOREHEAD IS BUSY ABSORBING THE SUN'S RAYS



Thanks, Fivehead. Thanks a lot.



Looks like a typical graduation party right? Nope, this one's special!



BAM! DRAMA PROFESSOR PARTY ENTERTAINMENT, GO!
Noel: Oh my god! Old people cooties!



Drama Professor: PLEASE LOVE ME
Nothing is funnier than drama profs, because they try SO HARD to get some lovin' and fail miserably every time.



Joseph: Who could resist a little sexual harassment from this fine lady?
WAT



Oh god. OH GOD, MADRINE NOTICED. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO



Madrine: Oh COME ON!
Can I have one marriage that works. Can I have ONE. PLEASE.



The drama professor giveth and the drama professor taketh away :(



Orion: Ahahaha! Oh Joseph, you are so silly, cheating on my aunt like that.



Orion: BUT I THINK I'M GONNA HAFTA CUT A BITCH RRRRRAAAAGH
No no no, you've got it backwards! Go after Joseph!



Hey Sam, remember that time that your parents' marriage imploded at a graduation party?? Oh wait, he won't remember because he was glued to his stupid video games for five hours straight.



WHAT A GREAT PARTY! YOU'RE A PAL, JOSEPH



No... I don't think even dead dormies will cheer me up now. That party bummed me out. :(



Oh well. At least Orion is FINALLY an adult, meaning I've been freed from playing university! Hallelujah!



So off he goes with Fae to the good ol' sim bin. Thankfully, the next time I get to come back to uni, it'll be my last! I'll think of something extra fun to do for the final round!



Celeste: WAIT! Aren't you forgetting something?! You left us here all alone in this boring ass dorm!



Whoops, I seriously almost left without cheating everybody else through college... you know, I haven't played with spares in a long time, but I'd be down to make another spare update just to see if Celeste will have any fun adventures in sparedom. Until then... see ya next update!

-------------------------------------------

Okey-doke, got a couple of things to say here! First off: it's now been officially three years since I started this legacy all the way back in January 2011. SO OLD! To everyone who's enjoyed reading this, thank you all so much, once again. I don't think I'd have nearly as much fun playing this legacy without you!

Second: the Almassy family tree has been updated! There's forty-nine individual sims on that thing now, goddamn. The spare version still remains unfinished but I've been sloooowly plugging away at that thing...

And lastly: generation eight has finally been uploaded to the downloads page! I think that's all from me... thanks for reading! :D
 
 
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