25 March 2014 @ 10:40 pm


AAAAAAHHHHH! Okay, I'm not going to complain (for once) about being busy, because it feels great to be getting shit done... but it is a little annoying to be only finally getting around to finishing this update. I've been sitting on these pictures for over a month!! Ahem. stopping now.

Going back in time to January: Orion, the newly crowned Almassy heir, ditched the rest of his annoying family and moved into a new dorm with girlfriend Fae in tow. Everything actually went pretty well until he started kissing on fellow dormmate Fivehead... and until Joseph ruined his marriage with Madrine by canoodling with the drama professor...... why can no one stay faithful in this whole damn legacy?! Anyway, Orion and Fae graduated and I'm just going to pretend like that all never happened.



Moving on! Orion and Fae decide to mosey on back into the legacy house at the crack of dawn, because I like having a fresh way of doing the 'yo the legacy heir is back now' picture. ...And also because I was too lazy to play the extra hour to daylight. D:



Look, Frey! Your all-time favorite people have arrived!
Fae: Good morning, Frey! I'm back.



Frey: Oh hell no.



Fae: *satan voice* AND I'LL BE LIVING HERE... FOREVER.



Frey: YOU COULDN'T HAVE JUST STARVED TO DEATH LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE IN COLLEGE?? IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
So unsurprisingly, Frey is NOT happy with this turn of events. I hope you're not tired of neverending sim feuds by now because these two are gonna bring it!



Fae: Is having him smited on the spot too much to ask for?
Kind of. Too much effort.



Fae: Okay. Well, now I'm going to go fuck your son LOL laters.



Yeah, I don't think Orion's complaining about that. And I'm on a tight schedule here! I need my next gen, STAT!



Frey: DOOT DOO DO DOO, I'M NOT SEEING THIS *dance dance dance*
LOL. Sure, Frey!



Frey's hatred of Fae is kinda weird, because not only is he pissed that she's off sexing his son, he's pissed because she never sexed HIM when HE was a teenager. So basically what I'm saying is: *grabs popcorn*



Hi... Leon...? What the hell are YOU doing here?



Dang girl, come on. Losing to Frey is truly a depressing experience. :(



Fae: Oh my god... that actually happened. AGAIN. O_O
Frey: YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. WALK AWAY.



Frey: And now it's your turn! DIEEEEEEEEE
DAMNIT. So Frey is also mad about Dramaprofgate? I had no clue! D:



LMAO NOT EVEN ROOTING FOR YOUR OWN FATHER? THE TREACHERY!



So where are Orion and Madrine during the complete breakdown of their household? I looked outside and apparently they were doing... this. Okay!



Alright alright alright. I think you're all going to sit down at the table and eat pancakes together, like a REAL goddamn family.



Fae: ohohoho. I'm going to kill you in your sleep! ohohoho!
HEY! STOP THAT! No murder plots at the kitchen table!



Frey: HOW THE FUCK AM I EVEN GOING TO TOLERATE HER?!
I don't know. I've managed to deal with you this whole time so I'm sure it's possible.



Oh my god, Noel is here too? GO HOME!



So, on to actual gameplay stuff: Orion's LTW has to do with the Intelligence career, which is extra cool because I've never put a sim through that job before.



And Fae wants to become a fancy arteest! I think Shima had a short stint in the artist career but other than that, I don't remember anyone else really clamoring for this job.



Liam's old bedroom gets overhauled as the new heir bedroom/artsy-fartsy work space.



MEANWHILE, IN DUMB SHIT THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE:
Joseph: You want me to sleep in the same bed as MY WIFE? Who DOES that?



Joseph: What kind of person do you take me for?!
SHUT UP, JOSEPH! IT'S EITHER THIS OR THE ASSHOLE ISLAND MOAT, PICK ONE.



Joseph: Geez. You let one old lady feel you up and suddenly you're the bad guy!
I'm sure Frey feels totally sympathetic for you. Not.



Besides, he'd much rather pay attention to the cuddly Leader of the Pack! He hardly ever shows up!



He's REALLY cool. His name is Antony, and it's a little hard to see in this picture, but he's got heterochromia.



Plus, he also has a voracious appetite for beds. Extra cute AND an asshole?! He's PERFECT for this family! Why oh why can't I adopt LoTPs, game? :(



Fae: BARF
OH YES. NEW BABY IMPREGNATION IS A GO! WOOOOO! U S A! U S A!



I wasn't expecting Frey and Joseph to become mortal enemies, and it's really annoying. Now I have TWO pairs of angry bastards in the house and Frey is at the center of both of them. Surprise!



Madrine: Oh my, he is SO handsome when he does his angry chicken dance! Swoon!
Is there hope of repairing their marriage?!



Madrine: No wait, I forgot that he's a DIRTY HORRIBLE CHEATER. FUCK HIM FOREVER.



Madrine: Get him, Frey! I want to see BLOOD!
Marriage status = failure. :(



Fixing Madrine and Joseph's relationship is extra difficult because Frey literally can't stop beating the shit out of Joseph. Observe:



Causing a house fire so he can fight with Joseph? Hilarious!!!1!



There hasn't been a cowplant around for like six generations now, you guys. Please pick some more relevant murder options.



Orion: I'm so happy you're pregnant! Now my dad can't beat you up anymore!



Or maybe he'd rather not touch Fae's reality-breaking belly? Just a thought.





Nice! Another completed LTW in the bag!



You know, I don't even want to do this LTW again, but the thought of Madrine dumping Joseph for twenty different men is so appealing to me right now.



Orion: TEEHEHEHEHEHEE
Frey: HHHHEEHEHEHEHE
Oh my god, these nerds. At least it's a little cute to see that they have such a good relationship.



Candace sighting!
Candace: Hey there. You know I'm your great-great-great aunt or something, right?
Orion: No. Never heard of you.



Candace: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I WAS RELEVANT IN THIS LEGACY BEFORE YOUR GRANDPA WAS EVEN A SPERM!



Thanks a lot, Candace.



That's nice of you to think she's bangin'. She's also 100% off-limits. Better luck next time!



No zombie pussy? That makes Orion ~depressed~



GOD THEY'RE OLD. And they're making me/this legacy feel old by association! Stop that!



Joseph: I'm so happy we're still friends, even though our marriage has hit a rough patch!
Madrine: GUESS AGAIN, BITCH.



Joseph: WELL THAT WAS JUST UNCALLED FOR :( *pout*



Okay, these two are like... just hopeless. I haven't given up quite yet though.



Frey: Oh god, she still exists! *shudder*
Gotta love that baby bump 'untouchable' status. It's a great time in the house when Frey can no longer attack her every second of the day!



Now they can have OTHER social interactions with each other, like... talking...??
Frey: Too bad all the cops in our family are dead. You could be handcuffed 24/7 right now!



Fae: Oh please. The police department's chinese finger traps don't actually count.
No wonder they can never arrest anybody! >:(





Well, this conversation is going well. Good job, you two!



FREY! YOU CAN'T SOLVE ALL YOUR PROBLEMS THROUGH MURDER MILK!



That's not the answer either. :(



ZOMG BABY!!!



Joseph's getting old, yadda yadda yadda.



BWAHAHAHAHA! Color-matched clothing that just SCREAMS 'I'm old as hell'? Joseph is obviously never getting a makeover now.



Joseph: Maybe it's the ugly plaid shorts talking, but I just feel so BOLD! Dance with me, baby!



Madrine: HOLY SHIT, NO
If only that had actually worked...



Suddenly, BIRTH!
Orion: Evacuate the premises! *books it*



Everyone: PLEASE GOD, JUST LET THIS FAMILY LINE DIE
QUIET IN THE PEANUT GALLERY!



And the first baby of generation nine iiiiiiis... *drumroll*... Wade Haigh!
Wade: ...wuh. Not Almassy?
Oops.



Fae: YOU MEAN I'VE GIVEN BIRTH TO A gasp BASTARD CHILD? NOOOOOOOOoooh well, I don't actually care.
Ugh, but changing last names is so annooooying. Time to get Orion and Fae shacked up before Baby Time Round Two, I guess!



Orion: WOOOOOO! I helped make that!



Awww, overcome with fatherly pride! or pure terror, most likely



Anyway. BACK TO WORK! Fae's uterus is being extremely uncooperative now, it took six tries to get her pregnant. >:(



But since she isn't showing yet, she can still pick fights with impunity. That's my Fae!



Okay. So. I was very diligently working on patching things up between Madrine and Joseph, having them apologize eleventy billion times and making sure they weren't fighting. It took forever but they finally lost their furious statuses and I was happy to see actually dance with each other again!



Then I went and did something else, and when I looked back I caught Madrine shoving Joseph. BAM, furious status back, all that hard work tanked. ARRRRRRGHHH!!



Madrine: CRY MOTHERFUCKER, CRY
Frey: lalalala life is great!~ *dance dance dance*



What's that? You're growing old? Obviously all that rage must be prematurely aging.



WHAT. What's with these random elder color schemes? That's actually WORSE than Joseph!



Thankfully, I actually care enough about Madrine to step in and help. Now she looks like a generic Martha Stewart suburban grandma!



I am spoiling this damn wolf, you guys. He wants treats? Done! He wants belly rubs? Got it! He wants to play fetch? Why go outside, let's play inside the house!



(LOOK AT HIS CUTIE FAT HEAD AAAAABABABUUUUU)



Frey: ...Ehehehehe!
Oh really, hiding the stick from Antony? Just wait until he fucking eats you.



No! NO! Don't you put that baby on the floor! There are TWO cribs in this room!



NO! Don't you... also... go on the floor. You know what, forget it.



I really should be sad/annoyed that Orion dumped his son in order to have a nervous breakdown, but really all I was thinking was, "Man, Orion looks SO HANDSOME right now". I have good priorities.



Wade: Hellooooo! Can someone come get me? I'm sure I have splinters in my back!



Wade: Hello...?
So lonelyyyyyy - ♪
I'm just so lonely, so very lonelyyyyyyyy - ♫



Joseph: Well don't worry, little guy! I'm here to take care of you!



Wade: ARE YOU KIDDING, YOU'RE LIKE THE WORST OF THEM ALL
(please let this be a good gen for childcare, please please please)



THE CURRENT STATE OF AFFAIRS: Financially impoverished! Emotionally impoverished! Morally impoverished! Everything is terrible! But babies and a wedding should fix that, right? Right? Uh oh...

-------------------------------------------

I've got nothing much else to say except that this is the fiftieth main update! I think between these and the spare updates, I've posted like over five thousand pictures of this legacy. I don't know if that's awesome or horrifying. Probably a little of both! Anyways, thanks for reading, as always. ♥ We're chugging along to the end!
 
 
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