22 May 2014 @ 12:04 am


Man, I love Pleyita's Color Workshop for teasers when I actually remember to use it. Anyway, in the interest of time (this update is over a hundred images long!), I'm just gonna jump right in. Here's the last update if you need a refresher!



Picking up off from last time: Frey has a fursona now and I'm kind of okay with it.
Paloma: You better have not just clogged up my tub with your nasty body hair.



Frey: *WONK*
But Frey has to turn back to his majestic self eventually!



Frey: I-I felt like sniffing dog butts all night. Help.



Fae: FREY NEEDS TO BE CURED BECAUSE DOG STRENGTH IS OP WEREWOLVES ARE SCARY ):
Of course, a new supernatural transformation means that every other person in the house has to cry about it. At least this reminds me that the obedience trainer sells de-werewolf potions. PLEASE COME OVER AND TRAIN FREY, PLEEEEEASE



Madrine: Good thing Frey doesn't need ~werewolf powerz~ to kick ass! Woooooo!



Right. Let's see what my actual current heir is up to!



Answer: absolutely fucking nothing of use!



Orion: :D
But I forgive him. He's just so freaking cute. ♥



Frey: LOOK AT HIM, IRRADIATING MY GRANDCHILDREN. FUCK HIM.



Well, I happen to like the glow milk. My sims can finally be distracted by shiny objects that are actually their children.



Ooooh, that projectile vomit distance! Tens across the board!



Frey: Did Joseph put you up to this? Traitor.



Wade: Oh no! I didn't get an A+ on my very first day of school!!!
Wade is a big nerd. I know, total shocker.





More importantly, Wade brought his cousin Victor home from school! He's one of Celeste's three kids that she had with the baby daddy she's currently shacked up with.



If you look at the side of Victor's head you can see his HUGE-ASS ears, a wonderful genetic gift from the PT that Celeste got but Orion narrowly avoided. Phew!



Victor: Hey, I heard from mom that you get your ass kicked every single day. Is that true?



Huh? Does Joseph look like he gets beaten senseless? Don't answer that.



Celeste is here? I didn't even see her come in.



AAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WEARING?
Celeste: I reserve my right to remain silent.



Like with vampires, I've never really played with werewolves before so the angry high-speed waddle that Werewolf Frey does just slaaaaaaaays me. I'll be like, minding my own business and then suddenly Frey does a 120 mph shuffle into the room while going "SNARFFLERARFFLE!!!" and I lose my shit.



April: Hasn't he ever heard of Nair?
Oh yeah, April spends all her time on the floor, surprise!



Frey: THIS BABY LOOKS VERY UNAPPETIZING D:<
PLEASE DO NOT EAT YOUR GRANDCHILDREN. Thank you.



Yes, Frey. I'm sure it's the BABY that smells really bad.



Oh my god. DID I HEAR BABY CHIMES
Fae: tee hee! tee hee hee hee!
WHYYYYYYY! Why more children?!



Sigh... I think I'd rather deal with yet another birthday-palooza.
Fae: LOOK. LOOK AT ME BEING PRODUCTIVE. AND PREGNANT.
NOT LISTENING. BIRTHDAY-PALOOZA TIME.



Here's the motley crew of invitees...



...joined by Antony, who is helpfully going to devour all the children who dare show up to a children's birthday party.



Frey: Whooooo's my good doggy! Yes, it's you!
Antony won't hang around in the daytime though, so he quickly leaves. I even bought him toys to distract him from eating the kids. ):



Ahhh, speaking of kids, here's Victor again with his triplet brother, Ren. Candace and Babydaddy were invited but didn't even bother showing up with their kids, lol.



And the last triplet sibling is: Harley! Who is SO. CUTE. HNNNNNNGGGGG



All I wanted was for everyone to stand in a row... together. For a nice picture. Is that so hard, Madrine?! At least Frey understands.



Victor and Wolfchow McDeadmeat: HELLS YEAAAAAH!!!! WOOOOO!!



Wade: HUAGLUAGLUAGLUAGH
Bad memory: Accidentally deep-throated party horn -1000



Paloma's up first! Buuuuut you're going to have to wait a bit to see her as a child, because I brilliantly forgot to take the after photo.



Ronnie: No problem! Just focus on *~ME~* instead!



Everyone: *ignores Ronnie's existence*
Ronnie: Really? Not even grandpa cares? Weak.



RONNIE: CHILD VERSION! NOW WITH 100% MORE RELEVANCE!*
*not guaranteed



April also grows up without much fanfare, although that's because all the guests got distracted by cake orgy.



Dang, where did April's cake go already? Did you get a piece?
Harley: Don't worry, I got a piece. EVERY piece.



Harley: HAHAHAHA YOU SEE, IT IS FUNNY BECAUSE I ATE ALL OF APRIL'S CAKE
Wade: ehehehehehehe
Truly a match made in asshole heaven.





Fae was really mad about going to work while pregnant. So her dream job kicked her and her bad attitude right to the curb. ):



Fae: FUCK NO I'M NOT GONNA LOOK AT JOBS
She got to leave work early and she's STILL unhappy! There's no pleasing some people.



This chance card isn't boring for once so I'm doing it. You know there's no way I can't pick the streaker option.



TS2, why do you hate fun? :(





Madrine: Well, at least I still have a job.



Madrine: UNLIKE SOME OTHER WONDERFUL PEOPLE I KNOW *SMILE SMILE*



Fae: Guess who is conveniently pregnant and can't work! Tee hee!



Wow, terrific. Now she and Frey can argue about boats all damn day.
Frey: SHE HATES BOATS?? NOW I DOUBLE-HATE THIS BITCH



Okay, I finally got a picture of Paloma and Ronnie post-makeover! Paloma's still sporting her stompy boots, which Ronnie has shamelessly copied.



And here's the same for lil' April. She's the only kid so far to get Fae's nose and while it looks a little wonky on her now, I think it'll get a lot better once she's older.



Wade: So let's play--oh my god, are you eating that doll?



April: SIT THE FUCK DOWN, BARBIE
That's not how chairs work, but okay.



Orion: Wow! Good job on not growing up to be a failure!
No joke, Paloma actually deserves this praise. She might be the first Almassy kid who actually does not suck.



Need proof? How about maxing her logic skill in freaking childhood?
Paloma: Yep!
Orion: Because you're a dirty cheater?
Paloma: Nope!



Orion: GRUMBLEgrumblegrumblemumble
Oh, don't be jealous. You should be happy that "genius" and "Almassy" can finally be together in the same sentence!



Unfortunately, this is in stark contrast to twin Ronnie, who does... this. Every day. I don't know why he has to stand in there for hours with that fucking cow but I hate it.



Okay okay, sometimes he also does this. P.S. THIS IS ALSO STUPID.
Frey: WHEEEEEEE! WHEEE HAHAHA WHEEEEEEEEEE *throws Ronnie off of roof*
Paloma: Goddamnit, grandpa.



In Madrine and Joseph news: Joseph is still absolutely hard up for her, like he didn't cause their marriage to implode.



As for Madrine, now she would actually be... SAD if Joseph died?! Progress!



I think I really underestimated how much progress because later I was bombarded by 'falling in love' noises and holy shit, Madrine and Joseph literally kissed and made up. All by themselves.



Joseph: MMMMMMM-MMMMM MMMMMMMMM
Madrine: So foooooiiiiiiiiine!
What. Is this actually happening right now?



Frey: HOW IN THE WORLD DID YOU DO SOMETHING RIGHT FOR ONCE



Computer: *BSOD*
Here, have an accurate depiction of my brain during this update. The low bar of standards that I've set for this legacy has actually been RAISED.



Hey, now that you and Madrine are all hunky-dory, mind NOT canoodling with Orion in bed? Thanks.



Paloma: I see I wasn't invited to the cool kids block n' talk party hangout.



Ronnie: Whatever. She's just jealous that she can't be a part of our AWESOME ALIEN HERITAGE CLUB!
But she's your sister... which makes her part alien too... you guys...



April: Don't worry! I'll play wif you. :>
Cutie-butt April with the ten nice points!



Neither Madrine or Joseph ever seem to take the hint and leave poor Orion alone.



Orion: OKAY, WE ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX NOW. JUST LETTING YOU KNOW.
Madrine: La la la, music in my head!
Hmmmm, sounds familiar...



yo can we have some privacy to scramble this fetus a bit, thanks



Frey: Welp, wasn't me.
Hi. I'm currently watching you walk away from the food I saw you burn and catch on fire.



Frey: Aaaaaaand what's going on over here?
Paloma: I'm about to shock and awe Wade with my MAD SKILLS.
Frey and Wade: WOW PALOMA IS SO COOL, FUCK RONNIE



Wade: I CAN'T REALLY SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING AT ALL BUT I BET IT'S TOTALLY COOL!!
Paloma: You know it.



Wade: Hey! Wanna go on a vacation?
And Wade brings up something actually relevant! I've been planning one last vacation for the legacy, and for once it's NOT at Three Lakes! Perhaps... next update?



Fae: *foolishly attempts parent/child interaction*
Paloma: *shuts this shit down*



Paloma: Really, mom? Theater? Don't even talk to me about theater.
Fae: Yawn......



Fae: ...yaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWwwwwn.



Fae: Oh, sorry. Are you done talking about boring shit?



Paloma: Wow, my mom is surprisingly rude as hell.
This is exactly why I love Fae in the first place. And now I like her even more!



Frey is finally, FINALLY going to grow old... D: I don't know how I feel about this! But he's been a spry young man for so long that it's about time he gets on in age.



Madrine: So, I'm pretty hungry, and I got this great idea...
Once again: BORING. I swear I'm gonna start leaving machine guns and the throwing ax box around so people can come up with better murder plots.



Madrine: I SAW A GIANT LUMBERJACK ON VACATION ONCE, SHIT WAS CRAZY
Three Lakes is done for, we're never going back there. Sorry!



Joseph: Everything's been going so well for me! So I feel like we need to make a fresh start with our friendship, Frey. I even thought of some great jokes to tell you!



Frey does not understand 'jokes'. Frey does not understand 'not killing Joseph'.



Joseph: Oh, don't get up, Frey. I'll get your plate!
Frey: *SEETHE!*



Joseph: Remember the good ol' times where you'd beat me mercilessly? Ha! Guess that's all in the past now.
Frey: Well, actually, about that...



GET WRECKED, JOESPH



At least now he can run back to Madrine again to lick his wounds.
Orion: Their geriatric love is so touching!



GET OUT OF HIS BED, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE



So werewolves can apparently use their GRRR! interaction on pregnant women.



Fae: ADMINS PLZ NERF WEREWOLF CLASS



You never know, maybe scaring the shit out of heavily pregnant women is great for inducing labor! Thanks, Frey!



Alien skin? ALIEN SKIN. Baby #5 is a boy, Drew.



Frey: Oh goooood job, you pooped out another one! Congratulations.
Bitch please, you shouldn't even be talking. I'm still mad about your vampire litter pregnancy.



The next morning, I heard Paloma hollering and discovered that Ronnie of all people had zapped her with static. IT BEGINS!



Paloma: You... sh-shocked me?



Paloma: Ahahahaha! You got me good!
Ronnie: Hehe, I was scared you would notice me first!



And then they played Red Hands. WHOSE CHILDREN ARE THESE.

-------------------------------------------

Lmao did the LJ update editor get even MORE impossible to read? Goddamn. ): Also, I'm turning anon commenting back on. Bring on the porn spam!
Next time: family reunions! Even more birthdays! The final Almassy vacation!
(Thanks for reading! See you then! <3 )
 
 
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