Heya hey! I was out on vacation for awhile but now I'm finally wrapping up the Almassy's own trip! (Here's the beginning of the vacation if you missed it.)



Everyone gets to start their first serious day of vacation with RAIN. WHY. I CALL BULLSHIT, RANDOM WEATHER GENERATOR.



It must be desperate times when we have to start autonomously watching the weather channel.



Wade: BEST. VACATION. EVEEERRRRRRRR
Yeah, no. This is not happening.



Good thing you can enter a completely different weather system just by walking a hundred feet over somewhere else. The Sims 2: Eat Shit, Meteorology!™



The only interesting thing about this lot is the giant pirate ship you saw lurking in the background there. And what does Wade do right when he shows up? March right onto the ship so he can play 'pirate captain', which actually means 'alternate between screaming at passerbys and laughing maniacally'.



Wade: YARHARHARHARHARHARHAR!! (x1000)



Let's look at the more normal children! Who have been given large, sharp objects to wield.



April: Oh, so you wanna pick a fight with ME, Blackbeard?



April: *saws off hook hand*
I'm sure this must break pirate code, but points for originality.

'

When you're done with that, you can try sawing off the plank, for... reasons.



*tries very hard not to make a buttpirate joke*



Paloma is a brave person. I'd pee my pants if I climbed up that thing.



Paloma: Oh, how I can seeeeee-! This great land made for meeeeeeeee-!



Rave Vest: Wow, you're like the most competent pirate here! Let's play pirates together!
Paloma: STRANGER DANGER



Paloma: I have better things to do! Like sneak into the guy's restroom and admire the artwork.



Yep! It's a painting. Good investigation skills there, Paloma.



But are flowers actually flamingos? Find out next time on: Paloma Holmes!



Paloma: I think this will resemble a castle of some sort. Just a hunch.
April: *thirdwheels*



Ronnie and Paloma: TWIN HUUUUUUUUG!
April: *thirdwheels harder*



WADE, YOUR STUPID SMUG ASS HAS BEEN STANDING THERE LAUGHING FOR LITERALLY EIGHT HOURS STRAIGHT. GIVE IT A REST.



Wade: Ahem, amazing pirate captain coming through, don't kiss me all at once.
Cashier: OH THANK GOD, THE LAUGHTER HAS ENDED! THE HORRIBLE LAUGHTER HAS ENDED! MY MIND FINALLY KNOWS PEACE FROM THIS HELL ON EARTH



Wade: SHE'S SOOOO HOT AND SHE TOTALLY WANTS ME



Let's just escape from that place and head over to the hot springs for some awesome nighttime soaking...



It's impossible to see in this shot, but we're greeted on arrival by FUCKING HAIL? IN NOT-HAWAII?



Paloma: GRRRRRRRRRRRR!
I KNOW. I'M SPENDING A LOT OF THEIR NOT-HARD-EARNED MONEY FOR THIS.



These two know that butt groping is always worth incurring brain damage.



Wade: Can we do what those two are doing, except on your front butt?
Tiki girl: Just listening to you is depressing.



If only Wade managed to inherit Orion's actual skill with the ladies... 8(



Wade: So who wants to dance with the annoying underage tourist?



Wade needs better game. That guy back there started making out with all the women on the lot as soon as he showed up.



Frey: Needs better game like who, ME? :D
Tiki girl: OH GOD NO. He smells like wet dog.
Sigh. Good night, hot springs! You were a bust. D:



What's on the agenda this morning? How about "everyone obsess over April" hour? Finally, the recognition she craves!



But this isn't really going to cut it for the last day of vacation. Let's go do something better.



Like... go to the Majestic Ruins of Jumbok IV! Fancy!



Hi there, Will Wright's Disembodied Head.
Will Wright: 'Sup.



Hanako: Hang looooooooose!
PLEASE, STOP THE BREAST TORTURE. I BEG OF YOU.
Ronnie: OH NO I LOOKED SCREAM



All Paloma wants to do is check out the big monument. Neeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrd!



Wade does this dumb shit so much that he's perfected it after like two days.



Moana: Wooooooooo!
Hey, this girl is pretty cute AND she's not subjecting her boobs to torture cups!



Moana: Woah, who is this silver fox right here??
Wade: Grandpa. What are you doing?



Moana: Oh yeah. Now THIS is what I'm talking about.
Wade: WHAT ARE YOU DOING GRANDPA.
Is this a fever dream? Oh my god. *pinches self*



Paloma brought up this topic all by herself to this random-ass geezer hanging out by the clothing booths. Honey, you are like a hundred years too young to be picking up old guys, okay? Okay.



As for Wade, he also had a bright idea of his own. Rejected by a hot girl? The only answer is to DESECRATE HER HOMELAND!



Paloma: You know I'm watching you do this, right? I'm standing right behind you.
Wade: EHEHEHEHEHEHEHE



Wade: OMGGG HOW DID PIZZA SAUCE WATERFALL HAPPEN



April: Hey, you guys should escape the lava by watching me be AWESOME!



April: Wooooooooo!
She got two whole people to come watch. I really hope lava isn't a better option over April. ):



Moana: RROOOOWWR! You are so damn FINE!
WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU TWO GENERATIONS AGO WHEN I NEEDED YOU??



Moana: Okay. You, me, clothing booth. And I probably don't have crabs!



Frey: POSITIVE HUMAN INTERACTION MAKES ME UNCOMFORTABLE :D



Tiki girl: Wow, I take it back! He IS a total hunk!
IS TODAY OPPOSITE DAY OR



April and Paloma will never stop doing stunts. EVER.



Ronnie: I have an amazing secret about a fight that's for your ears only... no telling April!
April: You know what? I give up. I'mma go stand over there.



Ronnie: GRANDPA KICKED MOM'S ASS AGAIN, BET YOU WEREN'T EXPECTING THAT JUICY NUGGET
Good thing April isn't missing much!





The ruins trip ended without much fanfare and hey, before you know it, it's already time to go home! I have pretty low standards for my sims' vacations so I guess my expectations were met!



Tour Guide: WHAT? Are you really leaving without going on a TOUR?
YES! TOURS ARE JUST FULL OF BEES AND DISAPPOINTMENT



April: Hi mom! We're back!
Fae: Meh.



Frey: HI ASSHOLE, WE'RE BACK
Fae: OH AM I GONNA KICK YOUR ASS GOOD
I think somebody missed their fighting buddy~!



Orion's absence due to work wasn't in vain - he got a promotion out of it!



See? Who needs to go on a tropical vacation when you can just ENTER THE MATRIX.



Paloma: Daddy!
And he even cares that the kids are home! D'awwwww.



And if you forgot there was a fifth kid, that's okay, I kinda forgot about him too. Thankfully Wade thought feeding Drew was a great idea.



GEE, I WONDER WHAT THE RESPONSIBLE ADULTS OF THE HOUSEHOLD COULD BE DOING RIGHT NOW
April: Wow.



A nice idea, but perhaps a little bit too late. ):



Ronnie: April, are you prepared for the amazing secret I've got about grandpa and mom?!
HOLY SHIT. PLEASE DROP IT ALREADY.



He gossiped about that stupid fight so much that the game finally dinged his reputation for it. LOOK OUT, GOT A REAL BAD SEED THIS GENERATION, HOOWHEE



And now for a horrible timeskip because I got tired of taking pictures: Ronnie and Paloma were all set to age up with their cake, but grew up the boring old way because it hit 6pm. Sadly, that's about as interesting as this party gets.



Ronnie: I know! Let me just--
YES, CLEARING THE ROOM WITH YOUR RANK ASS IS A GREAT IDEA



So: Ronnie grew older. He looks the same. Whatever. He rolled Pleasure and Family.
Ronnie: I feel great about myself! Maybe I could even be heir!



Moving on!
Ronnie: Is that a no...?
The better twin is looking pretty damn gorgeous, if I do say so myself! She rolled Knowledge (YESSSSSSS) and Popularity.



Stompy boots: check!



Paloma: OH NO ALL THIS FIGHTING IS RUINING MY BORING BIRTHDAY PARTY WAAAAAHHH



Paloma: The tragedy! :(
Ronnie: Oh wait, I, TOO, AM OUTRAGED BY THIS VIOLENCE. There, that should definitely put me in the running for heir!
Sure, Ronnie. Also, lol mismatched earrings. I must've been pretty tired while playing this part. D: Let's just call this being ~fashion forward~



Hey, let's age Drew up while we're at it so he can finally be important!
Madrine: WELL I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT.



Everyone: BIRTHDAY CAKE! BIRTHDAY CAKE! BIRTHDAY CAKE!
Madrine: OH ALRIGHT, FINE GODDAMNIT



Madrine: But he's going to have to grow up here where no one can see him.
What did poor Drew do to you? Being pulled away from Joseph for five seconds must be a grave offense.



Drew: FINALLY. It took two updates to get a speaking line!
One's all you get, 'cause I'm stopping the update here! Next time: Drew actually exists!

-------------------------------------------

I was gonna apologize for having a short update, but then I realized that this is still almost eighty pictures and holy crap, I write some long-ass updates. O_O You guys must have attention spans of steel. In any case: SLEEP. I'm goin' to bed! Thanks so much for reading and I'll see you next time!
 
 
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