15 July 2014 @ 08:06 pm


This generation seems a hell of a lot longer than the last one! Maybe I'm just stretching this out because I'm not ready for this to end. D: The last update was the conclusion of the Almassy Vacation Sensation 2014, where the kids played pirates, angered an ancient god and watched their grandpa Frey become some sort of inexplicable casanova. Now it's back to the regular ol' day-to-day bullcrap, such as...



Joseph: OH GOD. THE WALLS ARE CLOSING IN AGAAAAAIIIN
Frey: :DDDDDD
Oh gee, I wonder who the instigator was here.



Joseph: *finally accepts fate*



Why don't you go do something more productive? Like fix the computer you keep on breaking.
(sadly he did not get electrocuted)



Wade: GRANDPA, LOOK AT MY ANGSTY OUTBURST. LOOK, I'M LETTING ALL THE COLD AIR OUT OOOOOOOOOOOH.



Wade: I'M RUBBING MY PANTS ALL OVER THE GROCERIES!!!
Paloma and Ronnie: *ignore*
Goddamnit, Wade. He may not be using his teen angst to murder his siblings, but he still manages to be just as annoying.



In case you forgot, the Other Child Drew finally aged up into a child last update. All the other bedrooms are full so he gets to take the nursery as his own room. Lucky!



And seeing as how he got the Fae face, he's VERY adorable. ♥



April: With MY doll set? Oh hell no.



April: Hey, are you MAN ENOUGH to play me in a game of cops and robbers?!
Drew: DO I EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE?



April: Just as planned.
Er, HAVE April and Drew interacted before now? Like ever.......?



April: Oooooh, no, wait! I think I'll play BLOCKS!
I don't think this cuddly sibling playtime thing is going to happen.



Back to the teens! I guess it's time to get these guys laid.
Ronnie: You don't understand, I need to get an awesome girlfriend like my dad did or nobody will care about me!



Hmmm, I think Ronnie is worth approximately 36 dollars.



Hey, it's Shellie! You might remember Liam and Tristan trying to score with her and failing miserably. I don't know where her cute haircut went, though. ):



Ronnie: Well... uh... I like your shoes!
Shellie: NO. THIS DATE IS SHIT. YOUR WHOLE FAMILY IS SHIT.



Paloma's turn! You know this girl is worth every penny.
Ronnie: BLAME ME NOT FOR THE SINS OF MY FOREFATHERS



Her date is... Micah? I think? D: In any case, he's cute and probably has just enough of a concussion to enjoy this date.



Wade: WHERE THE FUCK IS MY DATE!!!!
woah, slow down the boner train there, mister



Manmaid: What's wrong with you? Didn't your parents teach you any better?
LMAO that's funny.



Wade clearly regrets his actions!





Somehow poor April just knew something happened to her dolls and she just walked over, cleaned up the house and threw it away without any fuss. ):



Guess I still gotta find him a lady though ):



Date: whut
WELCOME TO THE FUN HOUSE, GIRLY! ENJOY YOUR STAY!



So the final victim for today is Carlotta!



Carlotta: UNF THAT OTHER GUY IS SUCH AN OVARY TICKLER. Sorry, you were saying?



OVARY TICKLING IS NOT ALLOWED IN WADE-LAND!



= DATE-A-RAMA HALF-TIME RESULTS =
Paloma is in the lead with a brilliant play of "offering sexual favors"!



Ronnie's championship hopes have been dashed, thanks to his late-game fumbles of getting slapped by his date and uncontrollably crying about his grandparents. Coach Frey declined to comment.



Ronnie: I know you hate me with every fiber of your being, but let's hug it out!
Shellie: NO



Wade: ehehe so, did you know, that you're cute teeheeheehee??
Orion: Son... so, so disappoint...
I'm not sure how much room Orion has to criticize Wade's game....



Besides, does anybody really want Shithead Wade as the alternative??



Carlotta: THIS WAS NOT WHAT I MEANT BY "GET ME WET"



Carlotta: WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
Wade: Ehehehehe!
Is this some low-grade negging bullshit? Do I have to club you?



Wade: Gotta hide the evidence!



Carlotta: Okay, I thought about it a bit, and I decided to forgive you because you're soooooo cute!
Wade: Yeah, whatever.





So that date went... okay...?



Wade: I DIDN'T HIT FIRST BASE YET! RAAAAWR!!!
The reasons why are truly a mystery.



Paloma: Yaaawwn... all this flirting is nice, but I have a better idea...
Micah: sex?



Paloma: CHESSSSSSSS!!!!



Wade: Hey, did you guys see my EXTREMELY SEXY DATE over there?



Carlotta: You DO care!! Come here, you stud!
Wade: HUH? GET AWAY FROM ME.
Wade.....this is what you spam your want panel with EVERY DAY.



At least Paloma manages to complete her date without any whacko fluctuations.



Wade: You had a better date than ME? PREPARE FOR PUNISHMENT



Micah: GAAAAAAASP
Wade: Ahem. Like what you see? :D



Carlotta: Ooooh, your alpha male dominance is SO HOTTTTTTT.
Wade: STOP TRYING TO FLIRT WITH ME!!



OH MY GOD. Guys, if you value my sanity, please consider picking somebody competent for heir. PLEASE.



Ronnie: Just you guys wait! I'm totally gonna kiss a girl any day now!



Lmao, noooooot a chance. Drew agrees.



Wade: MY BLUE BALLS ARE MAKING ME VERY ANGRY!!!!



Carlotta: Huh, he just massively blew ass in front of me. For no reason. Hmmm, lemme think about this.



Carlotta: YEP, STILL HOT.
Wade: ZOMG WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO TOUCH ME



Wade: ehhhhhh my personal spaaaaaaace wah
DIE.



Wade: Hey, what the hell? You just trying to move in on MY date here?
Drew: Someone, please, just end my life now.



I figured out that Orion is THAT dad who hates seeing his children perform any sort of PDA whatsoever.



But Micah is too hardcore for parental disapproval!



Damn, what did Micah even do? Frey doesn't like him either so he gave him a big ol' werewolf scare.



Micah: THAT WAS MILDLY IRRITATING, WHAT AN ASSHOLE



Frey's not a jerk! Look at him sweetly tucking his grandchildren into bed... aaaAAAHAHA WHO AM I KIDDING.



I heard the most unholy howling noise while I was playing. Then I looked out and saw Arthur. Sweet dreams tonight!



Frey has a lot of downtime in the middle of the night, so I thought he should be productive and spend that time writing a novel.
Frey: And what a good job I did!



Wha... huh?



LIES! You sat down literally ten seconds ago to start writing. There is no way you're done.



Frey: Sorry, gotta take this phone call. Hold on.
AT FOUR IN THE MORNING?



He managed to write, publish, and get shat on by his novel all within the span of about half an hour of game time. Frey's ability to reach new levels of failure is just masterful.



Frey: *tortured artist mope*



April: Good morning! I'm just not going to go to school today. Is that cool? Cool.



Maybe they would care! If they noticed her existence in the first place... D:



Since she's playing hooky, I let her do all the fun things she's been wanting to do for awhile, like: jumproping!
April: Woohooooooo!



April: THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT, GRAMPS



April tries to befriend Random Grandpa. It doesn't work out so well.



She still goes out of her way to get SUPER PUMPED about the video game he's playing!



I LOVE APRIL SO MUCH. SO MUCH, YOU GUYS. I need like, three heirs for this gen.



Stupid chance card time! The first time I got this one, I bombed it... but this time, I know to impress the teacher with FACTZ!



The game is punishing me for winning that fifty grand, I swear.





Ooh, never seen this one before. For all those nice points, I think Drew's got a hidden mean streak in there.



Paloma's already moved on to guy number two. She's picking these guys up like easy!



Although maybe there needs to be some sort of screening process.



Paloma: We should totally have a sleepover tonight!
Uh huh, sure, a "sleepover". I believe you.



*sexy whisper* mmmmmm, hope u brought your mean girls dvd and footie pajamas ♥



Paloma: LOL DON'T WORRY MADRINE TOTALLY WON'T MIND SEMEN IN HER BED



A phone call? For WADE?
Wade: Oh hey, you're that girl who wouldn't stop sexually harassing me!



CARLOTTA WHY. DON'T YOU LOVE YOURSELF? GET BETTER STANDARDS.



Not only is Wade going, but he's bringing Ronnie along as his wingman. Ronnie.



Carlotta: I can't believe he brought his stupid brother along! He's totally going to cockblock me!
I think the problem lies more with Mr. LOL GAEMZ over here.



Carlotta: DON'T YOU WATCH HIM PLAY PINBALL YOU WHORE



I honestly just ignore whatever Wade has to say now about Carlotta and her hotness because it's just a complete and total joke.



Welcome back, underage drinking! I missed you!
Bartender: I never card for delicious Almassy men.



SUBMITTING EVIDENCE A FOR RONNIE'S PERPETUAL VIRGINITY!



Wade: HEY HOTTIE ARE YOU CHECKIN' OUT MAH MOVES
Waitress: *is in fact not checking out his moves*



Wade getting knocked unconscious would be the best case scenario for this date, buuuuuuut unfortunately we're not that lucky.



Carlotta: Wow! He's adorable even when he's incurring brain damage!



Donkey punching your date? Not advised.



Neither is starting stupid arguments for no reason!
Wade: You know what? I WOULD NEVER GO ON A VACATION WITH YOU!!



Carlotta: We don't have to go out anywhere! We can just stay at home in our ~love nest~



CARLOTTA FLIRTING ATTEMPT #4789 FAILS YET AGAIN, TWIST OF THE CENTURY



Even Ronnie doesn't want to hear any of her crap.



Wade: WOAH, REMEMBER WHO YOU'RE ON A DATE WITH HERE!!! Okay, now back to ignoring you.



Carlotta: BOOHOOHOOOOOOOO
Somewhere in my shriveled, blackened heart, I feel a lil' bad.
:(



Carlotta. Carlotta, please.



Carlotta: ph-physical contact, hnnnnnggg!! ♥
Well, what a thrilling conclusion to that date! Now I'm going to ban Wade and creepy Carlotta from ever seeing each other again. The end.

-------------------------------------------

Two things of note:
1) I am so, so happy that I've seen Germany win the World Cup in my lifetime. I CAN DIE HAPPY NOW. ;O;
2) Not a lot of information about this yet, but: apparently EA is releasing a TS2 Ultimate Collection? TS2 is the reason I've been putting off a computer upgrade so fingers crossed that this collection is a good one...
 
 
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