Okay, I really wanted to squeeze the remainder of university into one update so here it is, an absolutely stuffed 130+ picture update! I know enormous updates really obliterate my attention span, so hopefully this one is juicy enough to keep you entertained!

Here's a recap for the first part of college: Ronnie won some fabulous prizes, including a pink gorilla suit, a diabolic torture contraption, and an untimely death at the hands of murderous dorm ghost Koko. Alcoholism is the hot new it thing to do at Death Dorm, and Wade and Drew imbibed heavily (that is, when they weren't busy with resident stoner Druggie).



Honestly, the amount of drinking this time around is staggering. As an experiment, I set out three pineapple kegs to see how long they'd last.



The result? NOT EVEN A DAY! HOW THE HELL DOES ANYBODY GET ANYTHING DONE AROUND HERE.



Drew: WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT? I'M A GROWN MAN, I'LL HAVE MY DAMN PUNCH
And presenting Exhibit A for this: Drew Almassy!





Finally got around to resurrecting Ronnie! It was nice not having to babysit him for a few hours.



Wade: Look, I brought my brother back from the pits of hell! See how nice I am?!
Druggie: NICE TRY. YOU CAN'T FOOL ME.



Paloma: *stalk stalk stalk stalk stalk*
Hey, it's Shane the boob appreciator from the last update!



Sure, Paloma just hovered over him for two hours straight, but she totally finds him ugly.



But they'll still fuck anyway. What are these things called 'standards', again?



Paloma: I JUST CAN'T RESIST CREEPY MEN WHO OBJECTIFY ME, WOAH NELLY



Ahhahahaha yeah, NO! Not gonna happen!



Instead, I think it's time to head out and pick up some assorted baby daddies and mommies like a GOOD heir in college should.



The first stop was to McLlama's by [profile] slyndsey to scope out some hot rollerskaters, but it's just a total bust. :(





The only interesting things here were deranged Pavo and No-Neck McGee. NEXT.



Thankfully, the prospects at the Yellow Cafe seem a lot better, thanks to the insta-boner heart farting!
Drew: HNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGHHH



All April wants to do is settle down with some food... other people's leftover food. Hey, it's called being a cost-effective date!



Wtf is this, is he some kind of ladies' man now? How is he not tainted by the horrible family legacy of Israel and Frey?



Drew: DON'T YOU DO THE DANCE WITH ME



Drew: STEP OFF, LADY
Except that super-hermit Drew is not interested in such plebian social activities!



Nope, all he wants to do is kiss up to this chick here, who's wearing Yuzuki's dress. That better not be some sort of sign.



Drew: OMG WHY ARE ALL THESE HOT LADIES TALKING TO ME??? GO AWAY CRY
Pimp Jacket: *pimp disappointment*



Paloma: Why go out for dates when I have all the guys in the world right here?
Because these chumps have a shorter expiration date than a headless trout while living in this place?



Speaking of which...
Druggie: OH SHIT AM I IN THE SIXTH SENSE? WHERE'S THAT HOTTIE BRUCE WILLIS
Jesus, these two couldn't look any angrier about visiting from the afterlife. Be glad I didn't make a quick hundred bucks off your stupid urns.



A double ghost murder right off the bat? A bit unnecessary, wouldn't you think?
YES. BECAUSE WHAT FOLLOWED WAS ONE OF THE WORST HOMICIDAL GHOST RAMPAGES I'VE SEEN, LIKE EVER.



More double murder!



This time with uncaring bystanders!
April: Talk about going tits up! AYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY



There goes creepy Shane.



And the cheerleader, who somehow managed to avoid years of ghost murder. :(



Oh what the heck, just kill off Paloma too while you're at it!



But I have one very special man in a stupid monkey costume on my side. Check and MATE, ghosts.



Dormguy Getskilled: Huh, I strangely feel like I'm imitating a Japanese horror film.
Uh, nah, you'll be fine. Don't turn around any time soon.



Eventually I got tired of taking pictures because SIXTEEN PEOPLE DIED AND THAT'S JUST DAMN EXCESSIVE. Whoever was sleeping literally woke up to a brand new dorm.



But there is a silver lining: Druggie managed to survive! Hooray!
Wade: *stalk stalk stalk stalkity stalk*





Plus Paloma and Ronnie were able to reclaim their rooms that were rudely commandeered after they died!



(But the person who stole the rumpus room also stole everything IN the room when they died, including the energizer and MY FUCKING PINK BEARS)



April: Oh boy oh boy oh boy!
What's got her so excited?



April: WOW YOU ARE UGGGGGLAAAAAAAAAAAY
You ran all the way here just for THAT?



Drew: UGH VOMIT NO GROSS
Apparently it's a real popular activity!



Come on April, hands off the merchandise.



Dormie: PERV ALERT!! WEEWOOWEEWOO!!
Why she was trying to feel up this lady is a mystery to me. April's relationship panel pegged her as hideously unattractive.



So I invited Paula, the girl from the Yellow Cafe over to the dorm to get a makeover and she how she'll look. Managing to make Drew SMILE for once doesn't hurt either.



Paula: Wow, I can totally try out for America's Next Top Model now! *~high fashion model expression~*



So she's really cute and all but... I'm not really on board yet? Drew is all over her because she happens to be his highest attraction match in the whole neighborhood, but I haven't yet seen if she's crazy and stupid noteworthy enough to be an entertaining spouse. HMMMM.



I was curious to see the best scorers for April and Paloma, so in comes the super cheaty magic crystal date ball again!



April's high scorer is Eowyn, who was probably conceived at a Middle-earth LARPing festival...



While Paloma gets... NEW COACH?!



Paloma: MY BEST MATCH IS THE SCHOOL COACH? GOTTA BLEACH MY BRAIN FOR THIS ONE AHAHAHAHAHAHA



Oh man... I... I'm so sorry, Paloma. Life is terrible.
April: *thirdwheels*



Let's just focus on these two! Eowyn is a dickhead so that already scores points with me. Maybe April would like her too if only she'd STOP CREEPING AROUND BEHIND EVERYONE, COUGH COUGH



April: You mean I have to be ROMANTIC with my DATE? BLASPHEMY





THANK YOU. I'm so happy to have a date actually go right for once.



Dormguy Getskilled: Oh, those wacky lipstick lesbians!! Look at them go!



Way to be a dead fish there, Eowyn. This is giving me some horrible Guys and Dolls flashbacks.



You two really want to go marinate in the nasty post-sex water courtesy of Drew's sister? Nice.



Drew: woah i am seein shit man............
Time to stop hitting the pipe. Or Druggie. Either or, really.



Grim Reaper: Hey, your smoking partner just dropped dead.
Paloma: Doo de doo, not my business, doo de doo~



Paloma: Doot dee doo--OH COME ON, CAN'T I DO ANYTHING WITHOUT A DEAD BODY NEARBY



Paloma wins! Grim Reaper: 0, Wade: 284869850!



Oh no, Druggie!!! Drew is out at class so he can't come to her rescue...



Well, it was a valiant effort, but the girl is toast. ):



GOOD NIGHT, SWEET DRUGGIE. MAY FLIGHTS OF POTHEADS SING THEE TO THY REST
Koko: TOIIIIIILETTTTTSSSSSSSS



By the time he comes back from class, he's really not in the best of shape. ):



Drew: I'm not sure what just happened, but I feel okay now. Also some sexual attraction to the therapist might be involved.



Okay, please excuse her smelly armpits but LOOK AT THIS NEW DORMIE. LOOK AT HER. GIRL LOOKS LIKE A FREAKING DISNEY PRINCESS. SHE'S GOTTA GET IN THE FAMILY NOW.



Annie: He doesn't want to dance with me? wibble
Disney Dormie aka Annie immediately strikes out with Wade, but that's okay, because I don't want him having anything to do with her in the first place.



Instead, how about as Druggie-replacement spouse material for Drew, eh? Eh? Think about all the weird Barbie-head babies they could make!
Drew: UM, I NEED TO CONSULT MY LIFE COUNSELOR MR. BALLINGTON ABOUT THIS.



Back to April: a second trip to the crystal ball nets her this lady... Fleur Elise. Where in hippie pun hell did that name come from?!



Yes yes yes, I know the aroma of your dormmates is very distracting but can we please get over it and make with the pleasantries?



April: Whoops, sorry! Getting on with it!
Uh, that's not exactly what I meant--



SORRY CAN'T LEAVE, TOO BUSY MOSHING



Dayumn, so these two are actually three bolters. That explains the insta-sex! But like with Paula, I still dunno if that should cement her place as April's spouse. I need to know about her, so I'm gonna have April grill her on her interests!



Fleur Elise: WELL OBVIOUSLY I NOW OBSESS OVER YOU DURING MY EVERY WAKING MOMENT



Complete with obscene hand gestures. Apparently this is 'playing air guitar' in Maxis-land.



April approves!



Hey, doing an interview process isn't so bad after all! What's Annie like to do?
Annie: Well, I like to read...



Annie: ...AND DEMAND THE DESTRUCTION OF EVIL POLLUTING MEGACORPS. THOSE CRUEL BASTARDS ARE HOTBOXING MOTHER NATURE WITH SMOG AND DEATH!



Yes, if anyone is the giant earth-lovin' hippie around here, it's Annie. Her conversation topics revolve around THE ENVIRONMENT!!!! and not much else. I can dig a fellow dirty hippie!



Drew... approves.............???



Annie: HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF REDUCE, REUSE, RECYCLE?



Of course! Paloma always incorporates the three Rs into her life, such as by reusing her food as a projectile weapon!



Annie: Whore.
Now now, that's not in the Disney spirit.





Wow, this is the first dormie scare this gen that WASN'T fatal. Pissing your pants is actually an accomplishment here, buddy!



But it's another day, another death for Wade. Poor guy, somebody shoulda warned him about those stairs.



Ghost: WE - ARE - FAAAAAMILY! I GOT ALL MY GHOSTIES WITH ME! ♪
But Wade won't be one of them! HA!



DAMNIT WADE. KEEP YOUR SOUL IN YOUR PANTS OR WHEREVER IT GOES.



The dormie death toll has gotten high enough to where I need to move them off the lot. Too bad, I was really enjoying my new pastime of tasteful and mature urn art.



With this latest shipment of graves, the Dormie Hell graveyard is now absolutely packed full. That... sure is something. D8



Paloma has now moved on to stalking this random guy. I don't care how cute he is, she needs to move her eyes up to that speech bubble there. WHO DOESN'T LIKE MUSIC. PROBABLY SERIAL KILLERS.



Paloma: b-but you don't understand, I have to act like a romance sim for no good reason wah wah wah



Percy: Don't be sad! You're amazing and wonderful, not shitty and horrible like music!



UGH. Well whatever, you have fun with him. Don't come crying to me when he says that he wants to wear your skin.



Paloma: OSCAR IS SO HOT
Who? No really, I think he lasted like a day, tops.



Not that it matters as she hops in with Percy for sexy tub time!



OMG LOOK! SOMEBODY WHO IS ACTUALLY SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO RONNIE!



But this IS unlucky Ronnie we're talking about, so he gets scared to death before anything happens. ):



Again? AGAIN?!



Koko: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Drew: No. I don't care. ):



Meanwhile: more death. I know, shock and awe.



Dormie: LOOK, I DIED TOO! AND I PISSED MYSELF! BLEH!
Please, nobody likes a one upper.



Wade, thank you for being competent for once!
Wade: BOOM. DID YA SEE THAT SHIT I JUST LAID DOWN, WEIRD AL??



I would get mad that she keeps getting killed off... but she's just so cute! ♥



Drew: ...zzzzzz... NO DAD, COLLEGE IS GREAT DAD! HNNNGAAAAAAAH!
Thank god it's almost over. Just one... more... stupid... semester!



Ronnie is back! Who actually cares? Not me!



April has the bright idea to try her luck with dancing with Annie. We'll see how far THAT goes.



d e n i e d



That's right. If anybody's gonna shack up with Annie, it'll be Drew!
Annie: I DON'T EVEN LIKE HIM.



But she will settle for a little gossiping about how much Drew hates Percy. Er, and when did that happen, again??



Whatever. In any case, COLLEGE IS FINALLY OVER AND WE CAN GET OUT OF HERE



Paloma wins the honor of being the last Almassy to don the majestic pointy grad hat! Which is for the best; wearing that cap is torture.



Ronnie: PALOMA! PALOMA LET'S TAKE A GRAD PICTURE PLEEEEEAAAAASE
Paloma: lol no



Paula attended the party! But all she and Drew did was screw in the photobooth and then swoon about it for an eternity.



Followed up by Drew's puppydog-level stalking skills!
Drew: I LOVE YOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUU *heart aneurysm*



I lost Fae for most of the party, but I finally found her having a soak in the biohazard sex tub, naked. SCREAM



She didn't have an opportunity to fight anyone so I actually had a GOOD GRAD PARTY for once! I'm shocked!



Okay okay, make with the growing-up already!
Drew: HOLY SHIT DAD, YOU WERE JUST HERE. DON'T YOU FUCKING KNOW HOW COLLEGE WENT BY NOW



Paloma heads back off to the house in a surprisingly reasonable aging-up outfit.



Oh good, I thought the 'looking like a massive tool' quota would go unfulfilled. Thanks, Drew!



Capping off the heir trio is April, very mall goth chic!



And our wonderful spares: Wade!



Aaaaand Ronnie! Off to the spare house with you!



Welp, that's it for our stay at the illustrious DEATH DORM. It's entertained me for a good few years now so I think it's done its job well. I can really finally say goodbye.






Oh wait, I'm forgetting something!



There, that's better.



Koko: NOOOOOOOOO! YOU ASSHOOOOOOOOOOOLE!!
See ya in hell, Koko!

-------------------------------------------

OMG I'M SORRY THIS WAS SO LONG. But one last thing: if you wanted to grab anyone from generation 9, they're finally up for download on the downloads page! Okay, TIME TO GET MY ASS IN BED. See you next time!
 
 
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