13 October 2014 @ 08:18 pm
Almassy Legacy [10.2]: Divebomb  


TOOT TOOT UPDATE TIME

So, last time... GEN TEN IS REAL. THE END IS IN SIGHT! Lucky April got to usher in the final generation with the birth of her daughter, Sable. (Not so lucky for Sable.) In other heir news, Annie moved in but gave Drew the run-around before finally agreeing to marry him, and Paloma convinced some idiot named Phillip to be her baby daddy.



Orion: Guess what, my son and Annie are getting married today!
About that engagement - Orion is as excited as a sim can be, I guess, considering he won't shut up about it!



Orion: Mind if I sit next to your very sexy fiancee??
Although maaaaaaybe there's some ulterior motives at work.



Drew, how do you make lying to your boss about illness just so darn cute?



And here is their very... uh, ~seasonal~ wedding backdrop.



Hey, looks like Annie has elf ears. Why, you ask? Why WOULDN'T Annie the tree-hugging cartoon princess also be an elf?



Awwwww! I can't make fun of them here! I gotta say, they make a nice couple. I'll have to keep that in mind when they start driving me crazy later.



Have fun with married life!
Sable: WAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIEEEEEEEE!!



Annie: Well, that was only the WORST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE.
Drew: Really, that bad? ):



Annie: *mental collapse*
Drew: WELL LOL BYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeee
See that wolf back there? He was their only wedding guest besides Sable. lol.



Poor wittle Annie! What will make it all better?



................................



JUST GIMME THE BABY.



It's a boy, Damian, with Annie's coloring and red hair.



Orion: HOORAY! mmmmmm girl you fine ANOTHER GRANDCHILD!
Ahahaha! You think you're so sneaky.



Damian was fawned over for about ten seconds before getting unceremoniously dropped on the floor so Drew and Annie could fuck. Notice that April and Orion haven't even LEFT yet.



AND ANNIE IMMEDIATELY GETS PREGNANT FROM THIS. That just throws out the whole 'one pregnancy per heir' I was shooting for there.



Yeah, I agree.



Paloma's pregnant too! At least this one was planned...



Annie: Man, I'm hungry. I should really go...
To the fridge?



Annie: ...watch some TV!



Annie: What an asshole, eating his chips in front of me. Wish I had some.
FRIDGE?



Annie: BUT I'M STARVING!! WHAT DO I DOOOOOOOOO?!



Annie: Wait, I know! I'LL DANCE WITH MY SEXY LOVER!
Gasp! It's SQUEEGIE MCMOPPERSON!



Annie: HAY GOOD-LOOKIN'. WAT R U DOING TONIGHT
Squeegie: WHATEVER YOU WANT BABY, CONSIDERING I'M A FIGMENT OF YOUR IMAGINATION



Why can't I have whatever Annie is smoking?



Sable: HORK!
Gold standard parenting reigns supreme!



Is it because everyone's getting distracted by inappropriate dirty dancing with the elderly?



Phillip: Don't worry! I just fed Damian fifteen bottles instead of changing his diaper!



Phillip: Dear diary, today I let Sable pass out on the hard floor so I could write in you in peace. Heh heh. I'm so smart!
DIE.



I totally forgot about her being left up there (THANKS PHIL) so she aged up all by herself.





And she's real happy about it!



Hey, but I didn't forget about Damian's birthday.



As far as I can tell, that's all Drew's face. Nothing too exciting there! D:



The stairs in this house suck, so I got them an elevator instead. I felt all fancy having one in the house until someone broke it after only a week. Do you know how hard it is to wreck an elevator? What the heck were they doing in there?!



Fae just beat it until it started working again. I know I'D get right back to work if I saw Fae coming with a wrench.



Orion: ssssssniiiiiIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFF
Annie: Teehee! My inappropriate relationship with my father-in-law pleases me! :D



Annie: But Squeegie, I have eyes only for you.



Annie: What do you say we take it outside, somewhere a little more private?
Squeegie: I'M SNOWBLIND!!!



What's this? Autonomous interest in the baby? Be still, my heart.



Damian: GRANDMA, WTF IS THAT!! *soils self*
Thanks, Yuzuki. Just put him on the pot and everything.



SABLE IS SO CUTE!! I found her outside doing this and she stole my heart!
Sable: WOAH DO YOU SEE THAT IT'S LIKE A WHOLE FUCKIN GALAXY WITH STARS AND PLANETS AND SHIT, WOW



Sable: STARS!!!!
/lazy nemesis joke



What else does she love? MAKING HER BED! Frey's cleaning neuroticism lives on!



Sable: MOM, NOOOOOO! You looked at my soufflé funny and it deflated! IT'S RUINED!



April: *dog begging for table scraps look*
Sable: I don't think so, you culinary plebian.



In contrast to the other neat-freak sims I've had, Sable is very vocal about her disgust for messy things.



She was all JUDGY FACE about Orion tucking into last night's rotten dinner. AS SHE SHOULD BE.



Sable: This garbage is DISTRESSING ME.



I know one person who won't care! Damian got all of Annie's nasty slobbiness.



Lmao, as if he'll get fed. Maybe some floor garbage will be more to his liking.



Bad parenting story time: the game kept bugging me about Damian starving, but since someone usually manages to feed the baby thirty times in a row, I just waited to see who would help Damian on their own. I'm sure you can see where this is going.



For whatever reason, suddenly no one wanted to have anything to do with Damian and they left him in the crib for hours... except for Drew, who decided to swing by later and JUST SIT THERE and do jackshit while his son's hunger meter bottomed out.



So is it any wonder that the kids are getting carted off?



Drew: This seat cradles my rear pretty damn nicely. So I hope you're not expecting me to get up.
Social Worker: Dear god.
DREW I CAN'T BELIEVE I THOUGHT YOU WERE A GOOD DAD. CONSIDER THAT SHIT REVOKED.



April: OMGAW! INVASION OF MAH PRIVACY!!



The social worker lady finally found someone unoccupied enough to scream at.



Paloma: BITCH
LOL. Don't hide your true feelings, girl.



Paloma: Phew, good thing we have back-up children!



cough OH LOOK THE KIDS ARE BACK. And are still not fed.



Damian: DADDY FEED ME
Drew: UM, HELLO! I already got a bottle and dropped it behind me for no reason!



Damian: BUT IT'S JUST TOO FAR AWAY. THE HUNGER, THE HUNGER!
Idiots. Both of them.



Annie: I know Paloma just died, but what about me?
Somebody's gotta ask the hard-hitting questions around here.



Nothing like a quick trip to the underworld to get you ready for birthin'!



Drew and April proceed to put on their finest fake-ass, plastered-on smiles. True love is going out of your way to pretend to care!



Alien skin!!!! I wasn't expecting that one! This is Mars, a boy, who got all of Phillip's coloring besides the skintone.



BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!



Here's his twin sister, Naomi, with Phillip's blond hair and Fae's green eyes. Very cute!



Everyone kept cheering only for Mars, presumably because OMG ALIEN SKIN WOOOOOO! Poor Naomi, fresh-baked from the womb and already she's forgotten.



Annie, are you okay? Are you okay? Are you okay, Annie? ♫



Annie. WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS.



Sigh... Caleb, a boy with MOAR alien skin, red hair, and Annie's eyes.



And Owen, with the same coloring plus human skin. MORE TWINS, REALLY?



She's rewarded for her generosity with instant death. Yuzuki don't mess around.
(AND DO YOU SEE THE CONTINUED ALIEN SKIN DISCRIMINATION)



Drew: Huh. Dad, you wanna take care of this one?
Orion: Maybe you should do it. Kneeling like that hurts my back.
Drew: Like it feels so great when I do it?
Orion: Well, when you get to be old like me...



OR NOBODY CAN DO IT AND JUST LET ANNIE DIE. DESPITE ME TELLING YOU TO PLEAD. OKAY THEN.



Drew: :DDDDDDDDDD *brushes off haterz*
WHY DO YOU HAVE SUCH DUMB REACTIONS TO THINGS!!



Oh, good. That's SURE to contribute to their development. INTO FUCKING HELLSPAWN THAT IS.



Time to call up the death hotline for probably the fiftieth time this legacy!



STOP CELEBRATING LIKE YOU DID ANYTHING WORTH A DAMN



Well, with four infants to deal with YET AGAIN, I'm back in the seventh circle of simming hell. :( Which is having these three fools puzzle over the cribs like it's musical chairs.



And like any good baby obsession, everyone suddenly forgets how to take care of themselves so there was starvation and piss aplenty. Orion, you have like sixty years worth of bladder control on Naomi, what's the problem here?



Out of all the babies I hate Owen the most. HE NEVER SHUTS UP. Why couldn't Caleb have been an only child?



And what are you doing today, YOU LAZY FUCK?
Phillip: Gotta work on my sexy tan, you know. Even in winter!
(please may a meteor smite him. come on, game. i'll fuckin' pay you. just do it.)



At least Sable managed to be productive and go to school... minus the outerwear, because a jacket for your kid in winter?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA



I LOVE YOU SABLE! BLESS YOU AND ALL YOUR GERMAPHOBE GENES!



Drew: What do you think about having some more little cousins around?



Sable: Why? Why would you inflict more babies on me? :(



Sable forgives her uncle though, because he listens to her talk about staaaaaaars~!



SYNCHRONIZED SHITTING? YEP, IT'S GREAT



TEN OUT OF TEN ANNIES AGREE!



But this right here? This is what's going to make playing this gen Very, Very Bad.

There's a lot of graves for the game to choose from now, and if I'm very unlucky, it spawns only the pissed-off ghosts for me to contend with. One of them is Rainbow here, who died somehow on the lot a million years ago and is not happy about it. Which is fine... until she goes straight for the child murder. NOT COOL!



Meanwhile, Phillip dies for no reason. Okay.
April: All I said was, I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT BASEBALL. Don't be so dramatic.



I sent Sable to go to bed, where I'm confronted by my other nemesis of the night, the goddamn elevator. Sims on the verge of passing out can trudge up an infinite amount of stairs, but waiting for the elevator isn't an option? Sure, game.



AKIKO, NOOOOOOOOO! YOU DICKHEAD!



I-I'm sure that's only... a little bit fatal? )8



Guess who's back-- back again? ♪
Welfare's back-- tell a friend! ♫
Phillip: You saved me from certain death! MY HEEEEE~RO!
Drew: NONONONO HANDS OFF THE GOODS



Fae: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, YOU CAN HAVE THEM!



Social Worker: AGAIN? WHAT IRRESPONSIBLE PARENTING. Don't you understand that I have to report this and blah blah blee blee blah blah?



Drew: Teeheehee! I'm sorry!
Lady, just stop. LOOK AT WHO YOU ARE TALKING TO.



Karma's a bitch, ain't it?



Unfortunately, the social worker getting scared makes her no more sympathetic to the situation, so the kids are gone again. Hmmm, maybe I should keep count...

Social Worker Visits: 2



I tried carting around one of the twins to play keep-away, but the social worker just bampfed the baby out of existence. ):<



AAAAAAAAND IT'S GOOD TIMES AT THE ALMASSY HOUSEHOLD TONIGHT!

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I know every generation I'm like, THIS IS THE WORST ONE AND IT WAS SO FRUSTRATING TO PLAY! But I can confidently say that yep, this one is the worst. No contest. At least my game waited until the end to screw me? D: Oh well, any amount of stupidity and misery is worth it if it's entertaining! So thanks for reading, and see you next time!