31 October 2014 @ 08:19 pm


Welcome... to the SPOOOOOOKY HALLOWEEN EDITION of the Almassy Legacy. Dare you enter this haunted realm of ghosts, screaming shitty children, and child welfare officials gone rogue? *INSERT SCARY THUNDERCLAP NOISE HERE*

Last time, Drew and Annie finally tied the knot, which made her lose her damn mind. I'm sure having three kids in quick succession didn't help either! (It's okay, Orion still thinks that she's totally hot.) Paloma had twins of her own, bringing the total number of children to six. A few of the ghosts must have become ultra-hardcore CFers during their imprisonment on Asshole Island because they immediately started trying to kill off the kids, thus summoning the social worker to take them away.



Like hell I'm gonna let her, though! I'm going back in for round two! But first, please join me for a hearty point and laugh at Drew and Annie's misery. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!



This time around, Philip dies for some stupid reason that I don't know. Grim just didn't want to give Drew a chance to plead, I guess?



I thought the night would still go okay otherwise, but Sable gets intercepted on her way to bed and gets spooked again. :(



Social Worker: *Doakes voice* SURPRISE, MOTHERFUCKER.



Social Worker: Who keeps letting these assholes procreate?
NO! I WILL DEFEAT YOU, CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES. I SWEAR IT!

Social Worker Visits: 3



Okay, ROUND THREE. Philip dies again due to an even MORE stupid reason: April just had to mop up piss, blocking the reaper so Drew couldn't talk to him! AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!



But I sent Sable to go eat food instead of getting her killed while she went to bed! See? I'm learning! I'm so good at this game.
Akiko: That's what YOU think. YOUR ASS IS MIIIIIIIINE.



Who cares, Drew? Incontinence should be the least of his concerns right now.



Akiko must be threatened by actual competency. Why else would she be so determined to murder this random child?



I just wanna say, I AM SO THANKFUL FOR THIS STEREO. I used to get mad that someone would always leave it on 24/7, but this means that it'll also wake up anybody who has inconveniently decided to pass out on the floor.



Orion: How about a nice big hug so social services doesn't think we're neglecting you?
Sable: NO! NO HUMAN AFFECTION EVERRRRRRRRRRR



GOOD THING THIS MAKES US BEST FRIENDS SOMEHOW!



Gotta have the stink eye, even in your sleep. Show those ghost bitches who's boss.



Meanwhile, elsewhere in the night: more death and incontinence!



Excessive unconsciousness!



ENDLESS SCREAMING AND TEARS! DEAR GOD MAKE THE PAIN STOP



THANK YOU. SWEET, SWEET SUNLIGHT! I've never been so happy to see the morning in this game!



Fae peed on the floor, because baby obsession > toilet usage apparently, and the maid laughed SO FUCKING LOUDLY AT HER AND THEN I STARTED LAUGHING TOO OMFG. He's been pretty silent recently so hearing him go "BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!" at her at full volume was just everything I needed to hear after that hell night.

Also, this jumble of garbage and children is basically how the kitchen ends up every morning now.



Guess who helps the maid pick everything up? Brown-noser.



Sable: I bet Grandpa messed up the kitchen. He's a dirty old man.
Well, I guess that's true literally... AND figuratively...



Speaking of which, the object of his affections is back from the dead again. Y.....yaaaaaay.......?



Orion & Fae: We put all the children to sleep! THANK YOU JAYSUS



HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH!



Impromptu birthday party time, 'cause Fae wanted to throw one!



OH PLEASE, LIKE ANYONE WOULD EVER INVITE YOU. GO AWAY.
Social Worker: Trust me, I know I'll be taking the kids tonight. I know.



And of course she's right, because some ghost takes it upon themselves to scare Sable to 'death'... yet again. SIGH

Social Worker Visits: 4



OKAY. One quick reset later, we can carry on with the party and attempt to get through five whole fucking birthday cakes!



Damian is up first!
Damian: don't pretend like you're excited about this. stop making that dumb face, gramps.



Damian has the very cute Drew Face, but doesn't have anything from Annie that I can see. :\ Bummer. There's a robotic gnome driving a jeep on his pajamas, which slightly helps my disappointment.



GUESS WHAT! THIS IS THE LAST TIME I EVER HAVE TO DO A QUAD BIRTHDAY CAKE CONGA LINE. I JUST REALIZED THIS RIGHT NOW. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!



Naomi: woah........... that's just your opinion, this party rockzzzzzz man
Hey! No giving bong hits to infants!



OH NO, IT'S THE DEA! Or, uh, just a noise violation. phew.



I was so excited to have the police show up AGAINST the family for once, but she didn't do shit. She mosied outside the front door, hollered at everyone to shut up which immediately ended the party, and then left.



Sable: JUST TRY AND STOP ME, COPPERS! TOOTLYTOOTLYTOOOOOOT



OOPS THE GHOSTS GOT DAMIAN TOO.
Rule #1 of Ghost House: pay attention to everyone at all times or they will be murdered as soon as you look away.



Social Worker: STOP MESSING WITH THE LAWS OF TIME AND SPACE. I AM TAKING YOUR KIDS, END OF STORY.
Annie: You think you're so great 'cause of your fancy teleporting skills? OOOOH. SO SCARY.



Annie: BAI, BETCH~
WOW ANNIE! YOU HAVE GREAT COMMUNICATION SKILLS WITH THE GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL COLLECTING YOUR CHILDREN!

Social Worker Visits: 5



Now that the toddlers have stopped getting kidnapped, we can finally take a look at them! Buuuuuuuuuuut I won't be spending a lot of time on them for reasons you'll soon see.



Here are Annie's twins, with shithead Owen on the left and sweeter baby Caleb on the right. Owen is pretty much all Annie and Caleb is pretty much all Drew, so: boring.



Naomi (on the left) and Mars (on the right) seem to be a better blend of their parents! Naomi has Paloma's nose and Mars has Phillip's, I think...



Oh my god, you're PREGNANT AGAIN?!?! FUUUUUUUCKKKKLJLGHGJGHJGJH!!!



Turns out that this is all my fault. See that number right there? I was messing around with the risky woohoo odds and forgot to set it back to 5%, where I normally have it. That explains why Annie seems to have the world's unluckiest uterus.



Damian: Ahahahaha, MORE CHILDREN? FUCK THIS *TOSS*
Now now, what's wrong with potentially having six younger siblings? Sounds like a great idea to me!!



Something that I love about this gen's kids is that they all adore Orion. He's really the only one who spends any time with or plays with the children so they're always doing something together!



Okay, except maybe Damian. God forbid he spend some time watching crappy TV shows with his family.



Damian: I have to interact? With PEOPLE?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!



Here's why I'm not getting into the toddlers too much: I HATE PLAYING THIS HOUSE! If I'm unlucky, there are nights just FULL of horrible death and having four toddlers on top of that is just miserable.

Another problem is that some script ('ChairsSurroundingBed') in the house shit itself and starts constantly erroring out sims as soon as they even think about going to bed. This results in everyone getting lobotomized at night and stuck in an endless error loop unless I intervene and direct them myself (or reset the lot repeatedly). Basically, I hate this. I hate it forever. I'm sure I could fix it, but I'm SO CLOSE to being done that I'm just powering through it.



But you can't fix stupid!
Annie: Excuse me. Is this RAISIN BRAN? INSTEAD OF MY FROSTED FLAKES??



Annie: I'M JUST GONNA DIE RIGHT HERE IN PROTEST! BLEH!
Uh huh, that's great, Annie.



Annie: Hey! I mean it. I'm really gonna do it!
Uh huh.



Drew: Oh no. What did she do THIS time?
Paloma and Orion: SNICKER SNICKER SNICKER



Drew: God, I hate you. You bony-ass smug bastard. Think you're so great with your stupid knife on a stick.



He'd rather be distracted by the smelly kitchen, so Orion has to pull Annie back from the brink of death.



DUMBASS



Being married to stupid Annie must be pretty depressing, because later I found April trying to cheer Drew up. LOLOLOLOL



April: Sure, she's dumb as hell, but she's really, really hot!!



OKAY I PROMISE ALL OF THAT WAS GOING SOMEWHERE, which is that I finally just said, 'NO MORE TODDLERS, I'M GROWING THEM UP'. So now they're kids.
Naomi: *smile smile smile*



Mars: WHAT ARE YOU GRINNING AT ME FOR, YOU DRUG-ADDLED WEIRDO?



I didn't peg Mars as getting the angry child gene, but I'm happy that he did! I miss my evil bitchy little children!



Naomi: That's not true! I only tried it once back in college!!! WAAAAAAAH!



Naomi: MOMEEEEEEEEEEE HE SAID I WAS A DRUG AAAAADDIIIIIIIIIICT!
Mars: snitches get stitches. peace out.



NOOOOOOOOOOOO! DON'T TAKE ONE OF THE BEST THINGS ABOUT THIS FAMILY AWAY FROM ME!



Fae: Are you fucking kidding me? What's in here, lead powder?



Grim Reaper: NO ARGUING. Now sashay away.
GRIMMY, NO! IT WASN'T HER TIME! D:



Paloma: Did you really call your sister a drug addict? That totally would have made you Grandma's favorite grandson.



Hey, Fae is lucky. She gets to miss the hilarious and wacky fun of having yet another baby in the household!



Annie: Squeegie, did you know? I'm ~*~expecting~*~!
Squeegie: Yeah, I... listen, maybe this isn't a good relationship for us to be in anymore.



Yeah, Sable's still got those ~issues~ about touching.



Sable: That's not true. She CAN hug me, but then I reserve the right to suplex her. Got it?
Naomi: LOUD AND CLEAR, CAPTAIN!



Sure, that's not her child, but I think she already learned that hugging Sable is a bad idea.



D'awwwwwwwww! Mars is such a little fuck! I don't think anyone can top Sable as my favorite so far but man, Mars sure is trying.



Owen: DID YOU JUST TRY TO BITE MY PERFECTLY COIFED HAIR? OH HELL NAW



Mars: I just whupped your punk-ass brother outside! And if you wanna mess with me too, YOU'RE NEXT!



But I know what really happened, Owen beat his ass. Sorry, Mars!



Drew's failed engagement is a hot topic among all the visiting coworkers, lol.



Owen: RAAAAAAAAHHH I'M FUCKIN' CRAZY AND ALL I DO IS SCREAM AND THROW TANTRUMS ALL DAY
Damian: DAMN BITCH TONE IT DOWN



Owen: LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR! LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR!
Damian: Are you even listening to me?



Damian: SOMEBODY GET ME A MUZZLE
If only, kid, if only.



Here's Naomi casually strolling around like she just didn't piss herself. Guess what that means?



Social Worker: That her failure to be potty-trained at eight years old means I should take her once and for all?
LOOK, IT'S NOT JUST ANY ORDINARY PEE, IT'S GHOST MURDER PEE OKAY? I'M NOT A BAD CAREGIVER



Caleb: Hooray! Sweet, glorious freedom!
Caleb, you traitor.



Annie: AHAHAHAHAHA. TAKE AS MANY AS YOU WANT, MORE'S ON THE WAY!

Social Worker Visits: 6



Hmmm, let's try that again with less social worker! And in the dirty bathroom, because why not?



Wow, another alien baby! This is a boy, Ruben, who is 100% Drew genetics-wise. Fingers crossed that he doesn't look like him, though!



Yes, that's a slice of pie. Focus, Annie. FOCUS.



And here is his twin, Zubin. You might be able to tell that I was having fun with the names that my name generator was giving me.



Ahahaha, infants again? No way. I am cheating this and YOU CAN'T STOP ME



Ruben on the left, Zubin on the right. I keep misspelling their names as some horrible mishmash so I feel great about naming them this way!!



Okay, update's over! If you're celebrating Halloween, have a good night tonight and stay safe! I'll leave with you with adorable huggles that they did four in a row. Awww.

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This is only slightly relevant to the update but I think you should watch this video.
 
 
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