30 November 2014 @ 08:21 pm
Almassy Legacy [10.4]: A Good Day to Die Hard  


Hey, sorry for the long, unannounced break. Me and the legacy, we separated for a bit, started seeing other people, you know the whole deal... dumb analogies aside, taking a break and playing the game for fun really helped! Plus, I managed to get my next legacy neighborhood pretty much squared away and I LOVE IT.

Do I HAVE to recap that last shitstorm?! Okay, okay: the hilariously overpowered ghost army living in the backyard continued their deadly rampage, killing off Paloma's boyfriend Phillip as well as summoning social services no less than SIX TIMES. In honestly sad news, Fae died way sooner than I thought she would, yet Annie still lives. Life is unfair! She also got pregnant (again) and gave birth to twins (AGAIN).



Here are the twins. The twins are terrible. :(



Their only saving grace is that they're obsessed with each other and always huggle ten times in a row! Saves me from having to find ways to entertain their whiny asses.





(okay they can also be pretty cute, so sue me)



Ruben? Zubin?: Muddy sidewalk? IS NOT A BED, PEOPLE.
Come on, suck it up! Rain builds character!







Don't worry, all the previously existing kids are beautiful, precious angels!



Paloma: OH HOLY FLAMING ANUS!!
What the HELL? Paloma was cooking, everything was nice and surprisingly peaceful, when all of a sudden her corner of the kitchen just ERUPTED into flames.



TS2.exe: HOT ENOUGH IN THERE FOR YOU?! AHAHAHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA



RED ALERT! ALL HANDS ON DECK! YOU GUYS BETTER SAVE MY PALOMA!



But as soon as she's sprayed off, she gets reignited. This fire is taking NO prisoners!
Maid: Stop, you're getting burning skin everywhere! THIS ISN'T IN MY JOB DESCRIPTION!



Maid: HEY! HEY, GET IN HERE AND HELP US, PLEASE!
Orion: hold your horses there i got water in my ears



Orion: Oh hold on, gotta take this. HELLO? Harley? You won't believe what's happening over here!!



Well, she's finally not on fire anymore. Is it the heat stroke that's gonna get her?



NO! STARVATION WINS OUT! STARVATION GOES ALL THE WAY TO THE FINALS!!



Orion: Woah, move over dead daughter, there's a HOT LADY IN MY GENERAL VICINITY!





So that all happened in about THREE MINUTES. I'M SCARRED FOR LIFE NOW. At least Annie managed to save Paloma...



You know what's appropriate after somebody gets barbequed in the kitchen? A child's birthday party!
Sable: Er... I'm nervous to blow out the flames now...



Sable: AH, SCREW IT. MAMA NEEDS A HOT NEW TEEN BODY!



Sable is still a slayer this generation, shocker! She rolled Family and Knowledge.



Why the pissface?



That would be because of Owen screaming at the other end of the house. HAHAHA! Sable understands me.





Unfortunately, ghost murder is just as inevitable as Owen's whining. One of the ghosts scared Caleb to death not once, but AGAIN right after. REALLY? The ghosts sure are fucking dedicated to the bladder failure of every sim in this house. (Or maybe that's just Maxis in general)



Just in case you needed more evidence that the ghosts are cheap as hell!



Caleb: Phew! Exploding your bowels sure builds up an appetite!



Orion: TOOT TOOT! TIME TO WAKE THE HELL UP!
But the Anti-CPS Alarm fails and Caleb can't stop falling unconscious long enough to finish eating... D:



April: I'm not a bad mom...! I love these kids...



April: Is that approach not working? Okay then. *SOUL-CRUSHING GLARE*
Social Worker Lady isn't easily intimidated, though! That Business Hair gives her nads of steel!

Social Worker Visits: 7



Man, CPS is so unfair to this family. You know how concerned everyone is with child safety :(

So... I had some trouble keeping Caleb alive for awhile there... so I kindly edited out even more visits from the social worker. You're welcome!



*wah-wah-chicka-wah-wah*
Who's the government dick
That's kidnapping children as her schtick? ♪
SHAFTed! Ya damn right...

Social Worker Visits: 10 (lol)



Social Worker: Sorry, work is work. And I can't work with parents who rely on copouts instead of taking care of their children.
You mean copouts like DYING?



Caleb: You know what?




Fuck flowers.



So fuck them up he does!



And not just one little flower patch, but EVERY SINGLE FLOWER THAT I EVER PLANTED ON THE LOT. YOU LITTLE BASTARD!
Caleb: DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE



No no, go ahead, please stomp on the cacti in your bare feet. *steeples fingers*



And now, an experiment! I was curious to see why autonomous in-law romance wasn't a thing and I suspected it was due to family flag trickery. So, I stuck in a mod that removed the family flags between step-family. Before the mod:
Orion: Life is a bleak and miserable existence.



After the mod:
Orion: :)
Case closed!



Sable: HmmmmMMMMMMMMmmmmmm. I'mma just ignore this.



Yeah, I bet she's acting all cute now that she fucked your dad.



I can't help it, unsolicited kid hugs are still so darn adorable!



Drew: Okay, now my turn!
Naomi: UM NO, CUCKOLDS DON'T GET FREE HUGS



Meanwhile, Caleb still sucks.



Caleb: It's not my fault! All that death eats up your braincells!



FREEEEEEEY! FREY, I MISS YOU! ;O; COME BACK! I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE I'M SAYING THAT!



Naomi: Huff huff huff!
Where are you running off to?



Naomi: HIKEEBA! *kick*
OH DEAR GOD! FEET OFF THE GRAVE!



Wow. I've had a lot of unruly sims in this game, but never a gravekicker! I'm surprised she didn't break the damn thing.



But she's not done, because she heads off to stomp all the flowers I just replanted. SIGH.



Naomi: Good morning, beautiful world! NOT. FUCK THIS TRASHCAN. *kick*



Naomi: :D
Gee, thanks a bunch for giving me more flies and roaches!
Naomi: :D



Mars: Caleb, why you gotta keep ratting us out to social services?
I'm okay with this if it means they take away Naomi.



Damian is weirdly competitive and ~ANGSTS~ whenever he loses at games (which is constantly).



What a big baby.



Orion: OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH. OH! OH! WHAT NOW! WHAT!!
Then again, look at who he's playing with.



Yeah, I'm over toddlerhood already. The twins are growin' up!



Both cute! But both are Drew clones. Who cares.



DEAR GOD. THERE ARE WAY TOO MANY LITTLE BOYS IN THIS HOUSE NOW.



Drew: You know who's responsible for that? That's right, ME! You're welcome.
It's true. Motherfucker must have super Y-chromosome sperm.



Zubin: Dearest brother! Would you like another huggle?



Ruben: BITCH YOU'RE BLOCKIN' MAH GAMES
Zubin: WHEEZE! MY TRACHEA!



THE RUBAZUBE LOVE IS OVER :( :( :(



Looks like somebody just realized that his familial bliss is a lie!



Zubin: SOB! Roundhoused by my own flesh and blood!



Ruben: FUCKING CRYBABY
Yeah, Ruben is a little low on the 'empathy' side of things.



Ruben: I WILL GET YOU.
But he is generous! He doesn't discriminate in attacking his siblings!



Guess who got scared by the ghosts again?



And then got lectured about pissing on the floor? LMAO.



Yes, I know! I've failed Caleb on every possible level! I get it!



Caleb: *rustle* Hnnng! SUCK SO BAD! HATE MYSELF!
Even Caleb haunts Caleb.



Social Worker: I know, he sucks. And that's why we have to take him.

Social Worker Visits: 11



Here's the other problem I've been having with the ghosts.



They don't even care about my anti-ghost signs anymore! They just float around like they own the damn place!



That gives them allllllll the time in the world to wake up a sim, pull them out of bed, and then kill them.



Yeah, zap the killer ghost out of the room AFTER the deed is done, why don't you? That's it. Just these guys wait.



HELLO OLD FRIEND, IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU ONCE AGAAAAAAAIN ♪

Social Worker Visits: 12



Caleb: Cry cry cry! I'm so sad! If only I had ~A FRIEND~ to talk to! Like someone standing right behind me!



Ruben: *HEADSLAM*



Whooo, maybe that was a little too hard there, buddy.



Damian's the next to hit teenhood! He's got Popularity and Family as his aspirations!



Damian: Alright, birthday soup! SNARF SNARF SNARF
Sable: *eyetwitch*



Sable: Are you all done with--
Damian: bbbbBBBBBRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPP



Sable: Oh my GOD.



Sable: That's it. They're never finding the body.



Are we still trying to make that 'human affection' thing work? Scrub.



But there's hope, because sometimes Sable does inexplicably humor them!



Sable: But that doesn't mean I have to LIKE IT.



Caleb, don't you want to STOP being a failure? :(



Caleb: Let's be friends! We can bond over our shared misery!!
Ruben: DO NOT FUCKING TALK TO ME, 'K



Not surprised.



Ruben: *politely waits to beat some ass*



Ruben: You don't understand, I'm too ~unhappy~ to go back to sleep.
THIS IS THE LAST STRAW, GHOSTS! I'M WARNING YOU!



Geez, even I'm surprised by the sheer volume of social worker visits. No wonder I took a break! >:(

Social Worker Visits: 16



G R O S S



Annie and Orion: cough cough OH HI PALOMA!
Really? No one cares about Annie and Orion being together? I bet Fae would have some choice words to say about this.



And now, sudden teen birthdays because I was too lazy to buy everyone cake!
Naomi: Now I get make ~grown-up~ fashion choices, like midriff shirts and fishnet jean shorts!!



Here they are, being uncharacteristically happy!
Mars rolled Knowledge and Fortune.
Naomi rolled Knowledge and Grilled Cheese.
Caleb rolled Fortune and Romance.
Owen rolled Family and Pleasure.

That's it for this update! And as for the next... it might be the very last one?! I've gotta see how much material I'll have, but I'll probably end up making it a Super XXL Ending Update if I have to! Thanks for reading, and I'll see you next time!