22 December 2014 @ 08:22 pm
Almassy Legacy [10.5]: The End  


THE ALMASSY LEGACY
Episode LXXIV
THE END

Four years ago, Luke Almassy took it upon
himself to create a family legacy, unleashing
ten generations of unrepentant and incompetent
assholes across the suburb of South Sedona.

Under siege by ghosts, bad parenting,
and the CPS, the Almassys now struggle
to make it to the end of the legacy.
Times are dark for the family.
Oh, and Orion and Annie also slept
with each other, that was pretty weird.

However, there is a force in the
universe that is determined and stupid
enough to see this family through to the end.
The fact that this force finds the Almassys'
misery hilarious really helps a lot.

Will the Almassys live on to spread their name?
Will the game succeed in screwing them over?
Will the mysterious force continue these
pointlessly vague references to herself?
Find out, on the thrilling conclusion of The Almassy Legacy....

I mean, maybe it's good, I don't know.
I'm just a disembodied voice.


I MANAGED TO FINISH THIS IN TIME! IT'S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE! Hello and welcome to the very last update, which is sure to be a very serious and classy affair. I know I've already got my smoking jacket and my pipe on! If you want a link to the last update, it's here... otherwise, let's continue!



Good news! The teens are just as unnaturally smiley as when we left them!



But I'm sure those good spirits won't last once some ghost goes bananas and starts killing them off.
Naomi: PSSSHH! We've got hormones and shit! Let those ghosties try and mess with us now!



But you know what? She's right! That was the first night in a long time that no one was scared.




Ruben: NO VIOLENCE?? BUT I CAN'T STAND THAT WAAAAHHHHHHHHH



Don't worry! These two will gladly fill the gap!



I think Mars is secretly half-turkey. If he drowns in the rain, we'll have our answer!



Orion: Wheeheeheeeeeeeee!
Orion may be the babiest baby, but he's MY baby!



One night, I finally got a clue and decided I was done putting up with the broken bed script that's been pestering me. First things first: sell off every single bed to figure out which one is the culprit. And all these beds here are just the ones from storage. The things I do to keep my ghosts happy and (mostly) non-murderous!



Indra: Excuse me, but did someone just. sell. my. BED? That's been rotting away in storage for years, unused? HOW DARE YOU!!!!





Up next is a delightful bonfire, fueled by all the chairs from the house!



Yeah, I don't think that's a good idea.



Sable and Damian: BEDS FOR THE BED GOD! CHAIRS FOR THE CHAIR THRONE!
Naomi is boring though and has no interest in doing wacky bonfire dances. ):<



Liam: Can't believe it... got rid of my bed... *fume fume fume*
Orion: Oh, hi grandpa. I thought you'd be more mad about us selling the ballet barre!
Liam: WHAT



Liam: BOOGABOOGABOO
Sable: OOPS, MY BOWELS :D
Naomi: See what happens when you do bonfire dances? Ghost murder.



Thanks a lot, Liam. ):



Orion: OOH, I'VE GOT A CASE OF THE VAPORS!



Thankfully, the dramatics are cut short by Damian's save! And because I left out Grim's default and he needs less screentime.
Grim Reaper: My last appearance and THIS is how I'm treated?



Liam: AND ONE FOR YOU TOO!



Antony, I love you and everything, but WHY?



Whaaaat, it WASN'T tasty? I know somebody who'd disagree with you.



YOU LIL' BASTARD <3 If only he was real!



Zubin: GASP! I had a terrible nightmare! My entire family was sleeping outside near garbage, like uncouth--



Zubin: --oh....... ohhhhhh.



Zubin: ...I'll just be going back to bed now.
Don't hate! It's a free country, you can sleep in the middle of the road as much as you want!



Driver: HONK HONK HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK
Plus, wouldn't our forefathers want us to piss off the carpool drivers as much as humanly possible?



Of course, if there's one problem with roughing it outdoors, it's potentially having your brains eaten by roving zombies. Them's the breaks!



Sable: OH HELL NO! I don't care if you're technically family, you can shuffle off back to wherever the hell you came from!
Zubin: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YOU GOT TOLD



Antony: *judgmental dog stare*
Belle: Okay, geez! Sorry! I didn't know you felt so strongly about this!
Bye, Belle! Thanks for randomly showing up to terrorize the family!



Drew is angry about absolutely nothing. My thoughts too bb



Caleb: Ruben, you really need to do your homework. I could show you how--



Ruben: LOL PLEASE YOUR F-MINUS ASS DOESN'T NEED TO TEACH ME SHIT



Oh god! Caleb's finally snapped!



And Mars is bearing the brunt of his fury!



Caleb: Yeah, well, no more Mr. Nice Caleb.
Good luck with that! Because that definitely doesn't change your -0.5 GPA.





In more productive news, Orion actually managed to squeak in one last completed LTW!



Not what I was expecting the new head of the CIA to be wearing, tbh. Was it casual friday at work, buddy?



Orion: Doesn't anybody care about my promotion?
Yeah, they're just a little distracted there...



Newspaper Girl: GOOD MORNING, RUBAZUBE!!
See? Even this lady can't keep them straight.



Caleb: The newspaper girl didn't say hi to ME. It must be Mars' fault!!



After all the kids went off to school, I looked around for Annie and found her tucked away in a little corner of the house next to this crappy little xylophone. And what is she doing there?



HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.



Okay, I know what it says you're doing, but please tell me otherwise.
Annie: I'm playing with the xylophone!
By... sitting there and not touching it....
Annie: Yup!





So she sat there for hours. H O U R S. GIRL, WHO ARE YOU EVEN PLAYING WITH!!



Naomi: Should I even ask?
NO.



The elevator picks this time to crash and break again, with Mars and Owen inside of it. Hey, Naomi was the last person in that thing so maybe I'd be a liiiiittle suspicious.



But they live to annoy me another day unfortunately!



Mars: Um, I can't seem to get up to the second floor.
And you don't know why this is??? Goddamn. Sims have the memory span of a goldfish sometimes.



Whatever, moving on! Rhubarb and Zubaz are FINALLY growing up and joining the other kids in teenhood. They're not as enthusiastic as I am about it, though...
Rubazube: *bored cake pondering*



Rubazube: *bored insta-puberty*
Oh come on!



Zubin: Look, brother! Puberty is so much fun!
Ruben: Okay, I changed my mind. This birthday IS TOTAL SHIT.
Mars: *off-screen titty pinch*



There, that's more like it. Didja really think they'd be able to hide their true cheery/bitchy selves?



Except wait, Ruben is struck by sudden ANGST for no reason. At least his dad had one (OMG CRUISE LINERSSss!!!)



Ruben: Constant bitchslapping? Yeah, I'm cool with this.



Ruben: BUT BLOWING ASS AT MY BIRTHDAY PARTY?!! YOU WILL PAY DEARLY



And so their party devolves into another brawlorama...



Naomi: Fighting is boring. Why don't we go out to a club? :3



YES! I 100% AGREE WITH THIS IDEA!
Ruben: YO BYE BITCHES



These tools need to stop fighting and enjoy the lovely goth club I've dragged them to! Which they're not dressed for or anything. Good thing cover charges don't exist in Simslandia.



Here, have a Sable beauty shot for your time and pleasure!



Sable: HAY CAN A GIRL GET A DRINK
Bartender: Sure! ...I think...



Except not, because Bartender is currently distracted by teen brawls!



Oops, eat shit, Caleb.



Vampire: Hmph. Teaches me to bet on a teenager in a dead pool. :|



But she'll forgive him! Ladies totally love uncontrollable mantears!



WELCOME TO YOUR NEW HOME, YOU DRUNKS



Ohhhhh, Zubin Zubin Zubin. He has this total wholesome, eager beaver vibe to him that is really not conducive to pulling off underage drinking.



Cradle robber at six o' clock!
Zubin: Oh dear.



Zubin: SABLE, THIS LADY IS ATTEMPTING TO DANCE WITH ME



Caleb: CRY CRY CRY BUT SHE DOESN'T WANT TO WITH MEEEEEEEE!
They've only been here for an hour but Caleb's already broken down crying four times.



LMAOOOO PLEASE STOP THIS BRADY BUNCH SHIT. AND RUBEN'S LOOK OF DISAPPOINTMENT IS KILLING ME



Zubin: Of COURSE I am old enough to be back here!



Zubin: I'll prove it to you! Let's ARM-WRESTLE!
Bartender: You know what? That's okay.



What's everyone else up to? Owen went off to do some dweeb shuffle all by himself on the dance floor...



...while Damian has been patiently waiting to bake those iced cookies for THREE HOURS NOW.



Caleb gave up on trying to dance and just jumped all over the furniture like he snorted five pixie sticks.



And here come his adoring fans to slap the shit out of him!
Caleb: JUST COME UP HERE AND CATCH ME MOTHAFUCKAAAAAAAAS



Mars: DUDE I JUST REALIZED, I AM PROBABLY AN ALIEN
Naomi: LOL NO WAI
GIRL WHAT ARE YOU DOING BEHIND THE BAR TOO



Oh god, Crump alert! Time to split!



Zubin and Damian: HI GRANDPA! WE HAD FUN AND WE DEFINITELY DON'T SMELL LIKE BOOZE!



Then Caleb is attacked by wolves. I bet this guy is gonna end up like Belle's dad in Beauty and the Beast.



Hey, it's Parvati! How's it hanging, Parv?
Parvati: Not too bad! Uh, don't look over at the bed.



LMAO REALLY ANNIE? Oh my god. I'm not resurrecting her yet AGAIN when it's so close to the end of the legacy. Sorry, she gets to stay dead!



It's not like anybody cares either way!
Everyone: POOL PARTYYYYYYYYYY!



Sable is almost an adult, so I think it's time to wrap things up!



Drew and Damian: HUFF HUFF HUFF DELICIOUS TURKEY SCENT~~



Yep, I went full sappy nerd for this shit. They get to have a nice turkey family dinner together and they are going to LIKE IT!



They proceeded to have an actually civil and adorable dinner eating Mars' dad tasty turkey. Dear real life, I'm making a turkey dinner for sixteen people on Thursday so if I could just pull that out of my ass sims-style, that would be GREAT.



That dinner was so cute, it almost made me forget about their ridiculous tantrum-throwing and flower-stomping.



Oh, and the sloppy-ass projectile food flinging! Yeah, it's really time for them to leave!



So now they're moving on to the endless dark void of space. I mean college.



Yes! Quick, before I change my mind! :(



Mars: You mean I have to go to college? And SUCCEED? UH I'M NOT READY FOR THIS



Too bad, off you go! Bye Mars! You were kinda alright!







Following him are all the other middling kids. April makes sure to stand outside in her underwear for maximum embarrassment! Note that Damian isn't shown because I completely missed him getting into the cab.



That leaves over my top three kids! Which Ruben and Zubin celebrate with surprise twincest. Okay then, you guys.





I can't choose between them! Rubazube gets to share second place as my favorite! They were surprisingly entertaining and would've been real contenders for heir if they weren't both Drew clones.



I think it's no surprise to learn that Sable would've been MY pick for heir, though! I've adored her from day one! So, she gets to have the final goodbye from the family.



OR DOES SHE?
Yep, four crashes later, Sable just cannot make that dumb phone call to college and I have no idea why. Even Windows itself wants this legacy to suffer.



I rarely use this thing but I am SO GLAD IT EXISTS. This means no teary goodbye from the family, but at least she won't be stuck there at the house for the rest of eternity!



Off they go to live out their wildest dreams and/or die horribly!



Yeah, I think they'll do juuuuust fine. :)

-------------------------------------------

Epilogue (?)



Instead of doing a whole spare update, I'm sneakin' this in here right at the end! I finally stopped ignoring Candace and Belle enough to go play them and set up their adorable undead engagement.



And I mean adorable! Even better, their wedding was at the same chapel where mom Georgia had her's all those years ago. I KNOW. IT'S SO SCHMOOPY AND I HAVE A PROBLEM.



It was a small wedding, because I screwed up the community lot wedding everyone was still a little peeved about Belle's fly-by-night brain-snatching incident.



Candace: Our cake has a secret ingredient! Can you guess what it is?
Belle: THE FLESH OF THE INNOCENT?! THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER! *SCARF*



As for the kids, they get to rot in college... except for Sable! She's off for greener pastures, literally!
Canhead: please don't leave me here with them. PLEASE. TAKE ME WITH YOOOOOUUUUU



She gets the privilege of leaving this hellhole and spreading her wild Almassy oats somewhere else! She may not be able to become heir, but getting the hell out of here is a much better prize! Bye Sable, hope to see ya soon!

SO. It's bittersweet to see this legacy finally finished, which is something I never thought I'd think about a glorified video game fanfiction I post online... but writing this, reading all your wonderful comments, and getting to laugh over this game's antics is something I've been doing for four years now and it's been a blast for me. So really, thank you guys. It was WAY more work than I expected but you all made it worth it from start to finish.

If you'd like to download any of the gen 10 kids, they're now up on the downloads page! WHICH ALSO NOW FEATURES ACTUALLY FINISHED ALMASSY FAMILY TREES.

As for my future plans? First I'm going to be enjoying a nice holiday break, and then I think I'll start working on something new: an ISBI and a ten generation DITFT. Hopefully they'll be fun to play because I'm really itching to get started! See you then!! :D



THANK YOU FOR READING!