22 January 2015 @ 08:29 pm
Pomerantz Legacy 1.1  


Can't you just breathe in that delicious NEW LEGACY SMELL? If you're not familiar with the I'm Surrounded By Idiots challenge, check out the rules here. Otherwise, let's begin!



Welcome to Belladonna Ridge, my new legacy neighborhood that I spent way too long making! The old neighborhood did pretty well (considering all the horrible death and destruction it was subjected to) but it's old and slow and crappy and really, I needed a new one BADLY.



The founder of the Pomerantz family line is Theodora, who is as blissfully ignorant as I am about just how horrible ISBIs can get. Her appearance is the only thing I got to customize; I randomized everything else! So, what are we working with here?

Theodora Pomerantz
Fortune/Family - Become a Space Pirate (YES)
9 : Neat
1 : Shy
1 : Lazy
4 : Serious
6 : Nice
Straight
Turn-ons: Full-face makeup, logical
Turn-offs: Creativity

At first I was all excited about rolling a fortune/family sim, but now I'm not so sure. She COULD be blissfully easy to take care of, but she could also end up screaming about how she needs thirty grandchildren while she panhandles in the road. Tough call!



After having two legacies with founders squatting around outside, I want my cute legacy shack!



What do you mean, life necessities? SORRY, CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE TINY ADORABLE LEGACY SHACK



Her last few pennies get scraped up to buy her only friend, Chickenfeed Charlie. Garden gnomes are great but you know those poor bastards always get pocketed in like the first five minutes on a legacy lot. Who'd actually want to steal her overall-wearing chicken?



Yeah, whatever Theodora. You know that sixty bucks went to a way better purchase than food.



And Charlie is a chicken of many talents! No other lawn ornament has the guts to do some BACKWARDS ROOF DIVING!
Theodora: Woooooooooooooooo!



EA sez: did YOU remember to properly reskin your animations today?



Theodora: OH GOD, I THOUGHT ACID FLASHBACKS WERE A LIE!



It took me about five seconds to decide that I really didn't want to wait around for the welcome wagon, so I booted her off the lot to be proactive and hunt down her own men!



How about at the Indigo Club ([profile] slyndsey)? I love this lot!



Theodora: Oooooooh... I could get used to this.
Dancers: *confusingly grind in background*



Sorry that you only just now decided he's ugly after you spent five minutes waist-deep in his crotch!



I hate to break up the solo hot tub party, but antisocial founders don't exactly get around to makin' the babies. She needs to lure in some potential spouses using her (nonexistent) DJ SKILLS!



Theodora: THIS PHAT BEAT IS FOR YOU, GRANDPA SWEATER



That's right, girl. Drop some bolts on those motherfuckers.



Nah, it's just the resident evil witch named Madeline, who is SO FREAKING CUTE. I LOVE HER.



I tell Theodora to go outside and greet her, but she keeps getting distracted and starts repeatedly complimenting everyone. I'm not used to having an aggressively nice sim in this game.
Theodora: GRANDPA DID I TELL YOU HOW GREAT YOUR HAIR IS? WELL LET ME DO IT AGAIN



Theodora: And you are so wonderful for pouring torrential rain all over me!
Madeline: Heh, thanks! 'S what I do.



Theodora: BUT DO NOT. MENTION. GLOBES. TO ME. EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRR!



Gee, what a perfectly normal reaction to have. Do I have a asshole sim in disguise already?



Theodora: Oh gosh, sorry, I don't know what came over me there. How about I compliment you five more times!!
Oh. False alarm!



She is then forcibly dragged to a restaurant so she can quit it with the pushy compliments. She's on a MISSION here.



Now the problem is, there are ONLY women on the lot. Really, game?



Well, except for this one guy, who likes to walk around looking vaguely smug everywhere.



Theodora: SLURP
I know free water refills are really great, but how about you actually get up and greet him?



She doesn't think he's that great.



Plus he beats up on old people.



But don't worry, he definitely receives his three compliments in a row!



Theodora collects the bills from the mailbox all by herself. Is she expecting to pay them right NOW?



Because I don't think that's going to happen.



The welcome wagon never shows up. Maybe because I made Theodora leave the lot beforehand? :S Because of that, the rest of her first day is pretty uneventful! She gets greeted by a friendly wolf...



...then carries the kindness over to Charlie...
Theodora: YOU FUCKIN' CHICKEN



...then chugs milk at 2AM in her rad unicorn jammies. That's all she eats. She refuses to do any cooking.



But she did change it up later by drinking this can of corn!



Theodora: I CAN GET ANY MAN I WANT WITH MY ~SKILLZ~, WATCH
NO DEMO NECESSARY, I TOTALLY BELIEVE YOU.



In better news, her LTW career is amazingly the first thing available in the paper! That's not too bad of a start for an ISBI, right?



Theo doesn't skimp on looking good, even if she has to take the beat-up clunker to work.



After her first day at work, she heads off to the gym for some manmeat.



Theodora: BUT NOT THIS ONE, WOW U UGLY



It's mostly to steal a shower for free, though!



Here's the enticing array of men she gets to choose from on this lot. HMMMMMMMMMMMM.



Theodora: NO NO NO NONE OF THESE GUYS WILL DO



Theodora: Will I ever find love? *wibble*
Oh, sure you will, honey. And I know just the place!



DON'T DENY IT, I HAVE FOUND MANY IMPORTANT THINGS AT STRIPCLUBS OK. Anyway, once upon a time there was a little establishment called Poles n' Holes, and it's received an upgrade!



Bartenders: OH HOLY SHIT AN ACTUAL WOMAN
This is totally newsworthy because 99% of the people who hang out here are lonely men or third-graders.



Theodora: Oooh, a bar! I think I'll be naughty and order a soda!!!
*PEARLS CLUTCHED*



To further prove my point about women in this club, this guy over-enthusiastically fistpumps at the sight of Theodora. THE DROUGHT IS OVER!
Grandpa Sweater: :(



Oh really?





Hey, at least she finally thinks SOMEBODY is attractive, but I'm gonna be a picky bastard and say she could totally do better. Meh.



If only this guy was available! Tony here is the sim I've been using to set up this neighborhood and I've gotten pretty attached to him! But player character, against the rules, yadda yadda. :( Also Theo thinks that he's super ugly. I hope you're getting an idea of her bad taste in men.



She also thinks the bootylicious hot stripper is gross. :(



Stripper: whatcha doin'?



Since Theodora isn't allowed to ask him about his finances, I'm reduced to nitpicking their entire conversation about money to see if he's secretly loaded.
Strip Clubber: Money? Oh yes, I have SAFES full, trust me.



Theodora: HAHAHAHAHAAAAAHHAAAHA YEAH RIGHT but no, really?



Lightning strikes twice!



Theodora books it to the dark side of the building to pay Madeline some "compliments".



But back inside, Theo's attention is still all focused on this guy. Fine fine, they can have a date!



Not two seconds later this hot guy walks in, but then is immediately sucked into the Black Hole of Pole and won't pay attention to anything Theodora tries to do. SIGH. )8



So the date is going pretty well when Theodora rolls up this want. She's not really playful or mean in the slightest so I don't know why she wants to tease him, BUT I'mma humor her and let her do it anyway.





Theodora: KERSPLASH!



Theodora: Teeheehee! Picking on him is actually kinda fun!
Redhead: zomg how could you!!!!!



But does he like that gesture? Nope.



He REALLY doesn't like it.



Strip Clubber: LOL HAY THERE DATE WHO ASSAULTED ME WITH A WATER BALLOON!
Theodora: IT WAS JUST A PRAAAAAAAAANK BAAAAAAAAAW!



Yeah sure, you fucking liar.



She has her very uneventful first kiss with him anyway.



Now I finally understand her dating thought process!



Round five for picking up dudes is at the library!











JUST TO LET YOU SEE HOW MANY HOT TOWNIES ARE HERE THAT THEODORA DOESN'T WANT TO FUCK.



Oh, and the one token guy, who Theo is completely uninterested in of course!



They all quickly assemble on the stage in the presentation room and stay there the entire time. I think I just found the secret chapter of the Hot Babes of Belladonna Ridge Association.



Theodora: Drinking espresso in a library is very ~distinguished~
All she gets out of it is a bad case of the jitters, though...



Madeline: Heeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyy!
I think I get it by now, Madeline. You can stop.



I used Theo's first paycheck to buy her a toaster oven, and despite the tradition of hundreds of founders before her burning down their kitchen, she successfully makes her crappy TV dinner. Score!



Theodora: I BET CHARLIE IS SO PROUD OF ME



The glory doesn't last very long.



At least Theodora is kickin' ass in the job department! She needs those cash bonuses so badly!



Theodora: Okay, let's see. Bills, fuck that, more bills, fuck that too...



Theodora: Aw yeah, HERE'S the important stuff!
It's a love letter from Strip Clubber? Barf.



Yeah, I need some different sources of men. Time to initiate: MY SECRET PLAN.



A quick call to the pizza place gets her 1) a man, 2) a handsome, ~ALIEN-EYED~ man, and 3) delicious pizza.



Can you guess which one Theo likes best?



Theodora: Thank you for driving twenty miles out here! Have one whole dollar!
Hot Alien Delivery Guy was surprisingly gracious about Theodora's shitty tip, but then he immediately took off afterwards so she couldn't interact with him! WHY.



Theodora: Who would bother me when I have a whole pizza to eat by myself???? *attractively scratches pits*



SURPRISE! Guess I should start referring to him by his actual name, Cashlin.



Looks like somebody got over that water balloon real fast.



Okay Theo, get out there and charm somebody's pants off, literally!



Theodora: *SEXXX FACE MODE ENGAGED*



Townie: 'Sup. Just stopping by to let you know that I'm super hot, yet unwanted by your founder. :D
Seriously, her walkbys are only the hottest female townies around. Unfair. Anyways, NEXT TIME: Theodora's exciting Downtown adventure and her ensuing descent into failure! Thanks for reading, and see you then!