27 January 2011 @ 01:41 pm
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Helloooo everyone, and welcome back! Last time we were subjected to the sad woes of the Almassy family: four annoying toddlers with an oblivious cop dad and a negligent (and reimpregnated) mom.

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Well, at least the toddler part is over. Birthday time!

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And every single one of them grew up horribly. But why reminisce about the multiple failures in your young life when you have cake?
Helle: this has failed to quench my anger

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Here are the kidlets all grown up, complete with adorable torso clipping. I remember when you guys just screamed and peed on yourselves all day! just like mommy

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Claus: sniff
Helle: BAWWWW MY LIFE IS RUINED HOW CAN I EVER COPE WITH MY TERRIBLE BIRTHDAY PARTY
June: There, there...
Come on, are you guys still bent out of shape about that? Look at Parvati!
She doesn't give a shit!

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Probably.

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Ayako's second pregnancy is hitting her really hard. If she had a great pregnancy while carrying quads... should I be expecting a dozen this time? D:

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Ayako: I MADE IT

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BUSTED woah wait who the fuck is that
Ayako: Woah 'scuse me lady but don't you know how to KNOCK jesus

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New nanny politely excused herself and GTFO, never to return.

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Claus decided that he didn't have to go to the first day of school like everyone else.

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So we played makeover! His new haircut is a little better.

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Claus: DITCHING SCHOOL IS AWWWESOOOMMME

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The other kids got some cute clothing makeovers, too. bunny slippers eeeee!!!

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Oh, baby time? As you were.

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OHHH SHIT PLEASE ONLY TWINS PLEASE NO WHAMMY NO WHAMMY

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YESSS. Baby #1 is a girl, Rin, and Baby #2 is a boy, Len. (I figured she could have some embarrassingly named children.)

And now, time for some math:
Risky woohoo pregnancy risk: 5%
Chance of twins: 15%
= 0.0075% chance of having Len and Rin! Miracle babies!
(Having quads was a 0.0015% chance. At least I'm not THAT unlucky.)

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The quads aren't even HOME when the twins are born, but everyone instantly despises them anyway. (Well, everyone except for June, but that's because she loves everyone like she's Mother Teresa)

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Hooray, even more siblings to hate Claus!

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Parvati: Good morning, Claus!
Claus: Morning!

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Parvati: HA JUST KIDDING YOU LITTLE BASTARD
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'D KINDLY GREET MY
ARCH-ENEMY

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Parvati: Heh heh, sucker

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Helle: Oooh, oooh, my turn! WATCH YOUR BACK, BUCKO, 'CUZ YOUR ASS IS GRASS

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I can already see that Claus is going to have a baaaaad childhood.

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Parvati: LET'S GET 'IM!!!

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Woah! Jesus! Watch the eyes there, kids!

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Dude. Claus, come on.

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Helle: Muahaha! How'd you like that? Go cry to mommy!
~*~ stone cold bitch ~*~

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In other news, Luke's rap fan Mr. Plaid drops by completely unnannounced and proceeds to let himself in. No one cares.

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Parvati: teehee hi brother!
NO DON'T FALL FOR IT CLAUS

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Too late. ):

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Helle: Eeeeexcellent.

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Meanwhile, June makes like Cinderella and cleans fucking everything and never complains. God bless this child.

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Claus: AUUUGHHHH

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Claus is having a terrible track record so far.

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Bubbles baths make it all better though, right? Right?...
Claus: ):

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Uh... welp.

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The twins are well-behaved babies, and are still completely ignored.

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Perhaps this is why: MR. PLAID IS BEING A HOMEWRECKING LITTLE SHIT!!

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HAVE YOU NO SHAME

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Mr.Plaid: DAYYUUUMN GIRL YOUR OBI IS GETTIN' ME HOT
No, he doesn't.

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Helle: Oh my god he's trying use our simple-minded mother to tear apart our family from the inside out!
June: What about mom?

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Helle: QUICK DISTRACT MOMMY RAAAGGGHHHH
June: AIEEEEEEE

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Claus: OH GOD MORE FIGHTING?? I CAN'T HIDE IN THE BATHROOM FOREVER
I'm sorry, dear.

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In your face, Mr. Plaid! Marriage = intact!

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Helle: I saw you flirting with Mommy.
Mr. Plaid: Oh, that was just... that was only a little...

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Helle: Don't worry, though. I won't tell my dad. I'll just tell my sisters. ♥

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Mr. Plaid: whatthefuck

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Mr. Plaid totally ignores the Quad-Illumminati's thinly veiled threat and is still there in the morning.

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NO, MR. PLAID, YOU INVITED YOURSELF.

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Also: twenty-four donuts, Luke? Holy shit.

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Claus skips school yet again and spends his day doing productive things like:
watching bad alien movies on Syfy!

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And: gettin' slizzered alone in the kitchen!
Claus: WHO NEEDS SCHOOL, I LOVE BEING THE ONLY TWELVE-YEAR-OLD IN THIRD GRADE

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The twins grew up. I kinda forget about them sometimes.
Rin is very adorable.

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And Len is just as precious.

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Even his annoying nature is overpowered by his cute!

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Len: Hmm...

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Len: *dancie dancie*
JESUS CHRIST YOU ARE SOOOOO CUTE ♥

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They even get attention from their parents!
Helle: When is it my turn?
Rin: Probably never! :D muahaha

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Parvati: Good morning Helle, today I woke up and decided that I DON'T LIKE YOU ANYMORE
Helle: gasp BETRAYAL!!!

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Helle: TWO CAN PLAY AT THAT GAME, SIS

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Good thing that Claus is still a perma-punching bag for the sisters.

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Parvati: I know who my real friend is, Mr. Teddy... I'd never hurt you ♥
That is a lie, sorry.

Now lets play: Good Sister Bad Sister!

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June: Kissie!

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June: Kissie!

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June = Good sister!
Parvati: yuck.

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Parvati = bad sister!
Parvati: WANT A TOY, LITTLE ONE?
NO DON'T TALK TO HER

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Len: wehhhh
Parvati: Bawwww, look who can't reach it! Look who has stumpy little baby arms! Guess it's mine now!

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Parvati: Bwahaha.
She's the bad seed, I told you.

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Helle: HEY BITCH I SAW YOU MACKING ON JUNE, SHE'S MY BFF SO LEAVE HER ALONE

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Parvati: NAW SHE'S MINE YOU WHORING TRAMP
June: sparkles and rainbows! sparkles and rainbows!

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Rin: someone remember meeeeeee

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Helle has ousted Parvati and now exclusively hangs out with idk her bff june.

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This whole battle for June's affection thing would be cute if June wasn't actually related to them. Creepy twincest thing goin' on here, guys.

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I DON'T GIVE A DAMN 'BOUT MY BAD REPUTATION

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Not entirely unexpected.

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June: I am TIRED of you! Stop picking on us!
You go, girl! Grow some cohones!

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Birthdays again! To mark the occasion, here are the results of the Great 2011 Quad Brawlorama:
	Won	Lost
Helle	||||||   |||||
June             |||
Claus   |||||| 	|||||||||
Parvati |||||||  ||

And the title goes to: PARVATI! For being more murderous towards her siblings than anyone else.

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Here are the quads as teens:

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Claus Almassy
Knowledge
2|3|10|9|10
+: swimwear, cleaning
-: custom hair

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Parvati Almassy
Family
9|3|9|3|4
+: hard worker, mechanical
-: stink

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June Almassy
Family
10|4|8|3|10
+: custom hair, cleaning
-: hats

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Helle Almassy
Fortune
9|7|9|7|3
+: fat, custom hair
-: creative

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Boy, lots of screen time for the kids this update, huh? It works out though, 'cause this segues nicely into HEIR POLL TIME! Unfortunately Rin and Len are exempt from the poll, because I don't want to have to wait forever and a day for them to grow up.
[Poll #1673329]

Thanks for voting! The next update will be out sometime next week! See you then!
 
 
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