18 August 2012 @ 03:34 pm
Almassy Legacy [5.5]: Teen Girl Squad  


Welcome back to part two of the update extravaganza! In the last update, it's life as usual for the family: Israel cheats on his wife, the children fight constantly, and Shima dies. Wait, it was GEORGIA who died? Wow. The afterlife couldn't contain George for very long and she returned to the house as a zombie, only to see her husband Calhoun take her place in death.



Rain: Oh grandma, I stomp ALL the bitches. And I never lose fights. People pee their pants and flee in terror when I walk down the street!
Rain is up to her usual tricks, bragging about herself to anyone who will listen.



Rain: WHO WOULDN'T WANT TO LISTEN TO THIS FINE PIECE
Show that face to the boys and I'm sure you'll get all the ass in the world.



Hey, excuse me! What's with all this cat bullying?



Awww, that's depressing. :( Despite growing up with each other, Wilford and Vivi's relationship has hit rock bottom. They always challenge each other (to win what? queen of shit heap? idk) and Vivi shuts Wilford down, tanking their relationship score. At least they still love Arthur...?



What, really?



OH YES, REALLY. Nanny walked all the way over to the house just so she could dump a giant dance sphere in the front yard. Thanks! I put it in the back so Stefano can use it when he breaks into the house instead of fighting with Georgia 24/7.



Speaking of which: nope, he still hasn't gone. I mean he leaves eventually, but only to return a few hours later. I'll just say that I've been very good about restraining my urge to kill him off.



So in the last update, Georgia got killed off by her own grandfather. Phase 1 of my fix-it plan was resurrecting her. As for Phase 2... that begins now! George, could you hold still?
Georgia: Sure, why?



*KERZAP*
Oops! Teehee!



Hey, Grim! You can have her this time.
Grim Reaper: Sweet. Wait... really? This seems suspicious.
No really, just take her!



PSYCHE! Of course we're calling his ass back up.



Grim Reaper: YOU LIED TO ME!
Bwahahaha.



Georgia: I'M SO MAD ABOUT DYING AGAIN :D :D :D
Whatever, at least I brought you back. But something seems a little... off...



Oh. I'm actually a huge idiot (surprise!) and thought that resurrecting a zombie would bring them back as a normal sim. This is not the case.



So: fuck it! I'm cheating. Nothing like a tall glass of zombie-away potion to get rid of that icky undead feeling!



Georgia: Much better! I'm still wishing death upon you. Watch your back! :DDDD



Between the resurrection and the zombie potion, the household is experiencing a serious lack of funds. They haven't had this little money since it was just Luke in his not-shack.



Rain: WHAT?? BUT I TOLD ALL THE KIDS AT SCHOOL THAT WE WERE MILLIONAIRES



By the way, Violet and George? Still together like peas and carrots! I have a hard time believing that Georgia could be nice to a kid, but she is to Violet.
Georgia: She could be just like me! I'll teach her how to fight, and how to trick the fire department, and how to make a harem, and...
HAHAHA NO THANK YOU GEORGE THAT'S ALRIGHT



Azalea is always dancing with the adults too, but only because her fun is constantly bottomed out. That's all of her unfinished homework behind her, which she can't finish because she starts screaming about how BORED!!!! she is ten seconds into working on it.



The only upside to Azalea's fun deficiency is that she plays with her siblings more, which leads to cuter pictures like this one. Awwww.



Poppy: Yaaaaayyyyy!! Go, Grandma!
Wow, she's getting such a good upbringing! Thanks, Georgia!



Hey... is that who I think it is?



Yep, it's Calhoun! That was a really fast ghost sighting. I have to say, he looks very dapper as a ghost. I MISS YOU. COME BACK. PLEEEEEASE



In a shocking turn of events, not only does Israel actually pay attention to his kids here, but he ALSO catches Violet in the act of picking on Poppy. So what does he do about it?



Lecture Azalea about it, even though she has nothing to do with anything!
MAKES SENSE TO ME!



Israel: Azalea, you know it's not right to bully your sisters. I raised you better than that.
Azalea: But dad, I didn't even--



Israel: Any time you're feeling angry at someone, just take all of those bad feelings and pack them into a teensy-weensy little ball and hide them away where no one can see them!
Poppy: I'LL KICK YOUR ASS IF YOU DON'T STOP MESSING WITH ME
Violet: I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY, NERD



Israel: Then if anybody tries to pick on you, you can use your magical powers to channel that hate into a swarm of bees! Wait, I forgot you're not a wizard. Well, in any case, I'm really disappointed in you.
Poppy: TAKE THIS YOU WANNABE BARBIE PRINCESS!!!
Violet: HELP DAD DAAAAAAAAD GET THIS PSYCHO OFF OF ME



Azalea: :(



Arthur grew old and I missed it. Now he's greyer and saggier. BUT I STILL LOVE HIM!



Violet loves the quintessential girly child things, like picking flowers and blowing bubbles. She looks like she should be on the front of some suburban parenting magazine.



Ah, I see she also inherited her mother's ~smartz~.



Violet: COUGH BELCH BUT IT LOOKED SO TASTY!



Hey, speaking of her mom... WHY IS SHE DEAD? I didn't see Grim or see anyone mourning. I really need to start playing with the game music on again because I need some sound cues.



We're still flat broke, so I had Candace send over 10,000 simoleons to pay for Shima's resurrection. I know you don't need five digits for a perfect resurrection, but I'm dumb and I decided I wanted to use the max amount. :I



Shima: YEEHAW!!! Being alive feels so good!
Shima then landed funny on her ankle after her victory jump, killing her instantly. Okay, not really, but I wouldn't be surprised.



OH MY GOD. So in the twelve hours or so where she was dead, Shima forgot that she was married to Israel. Figured as much, that happens. However, she also forgot that she was even in LOVE with him. WHAT. SHIMA HE'S BACK DOWN TO THREE LOVERS NOW, I HATE YOOOOOUUUU



They're back to normal in a matter of minutes anyway, but still. I'm mad that I have to repair their relationship for basically no reason.



Maid: MURRRPHHHGHGHGFFFFF
HELLO??? Can you NOT motorboat Shima's boobs while she's trying to rekindle her relationship with her not-husband? She's kinda busy here.



NO. D: Is it that time already? I'm not ready for Wilford to go!



Arthur: nooooooooooooooooo!!
Wilford: It's okay, Arthur. The 'beetus will live on...!



The rest of the family is clearly distraught by this.



So this is my first pet death in TS2. I was pretty bummed already about Wilford dying when suddenly the Grim Reaper pulled out this little catnip mouse, and... and Wilford was so happy... and Ozzy's 'Mama, I'm Coming Home' started playing... so I might have teared up a bit. JUST A BIT THOUGH. I'm hard as fuck.



Vivi died too, except I completely missed it. That's it, I'm turning the sound back on! Normally I catch these things but I've really been off this update.



The cats get to spend eternal rest next to each other, which will probably piss them off but whatever.



Gee, after all that death, let's have something else for awhile. How about birthdays?



The best part about being a spare is that you only have to be subjected to weird family get-togethers every once in awhile instead of every day.



TOOT TOOT TOOT TOOOOOOOOOOOT TOOT TOOT x 1000



Of course, everyone grows up badly again. Why do I even bother throwing parties? Poppy rolls popularity, a hilarious outcome because fucking no one likes her. She gets knowledge as her secondary.



Awww, a cheerleader and a prep school student? Very cute! And untrue. Azalea gets fortune and grilled cheese, while Violet gets romance and pleasure. I'm pretty unhappy with their turn-ons, as Azalea likes werewolves and Violet likes zombies. Having to find a closet furry and necrophiliac dates is not going to be fun.



Poppy: HERE YOU GO BITCH, A SLAPPING FIFTEEN YEARS IN THE MAKING



Violet: And I've been waiting to do this too!
What the hell you guys, I HAVEN'T EVEN REDRESSED YOU YET! WAIT A GODDAMN SECOND



Ryan: WHAT A GREAT FAMILY GATHERING THIS IS



Anyway, makeovers! Azalea is no longer wearing her dumb llama cheerleader outfit. For some reason she's very distressed by this.



Poppy revolts against her abuse by dressing like some mall goth Hot Topic reject.



Violet is very, VERY beautiful. Yowza. She's also keeping her prep school outfit because I like it on her. Now whenever she and Poppy fight, it looks like every bad 'prepz vs. goffs!!!' high school movie ever made.



Poppy launches a surprise attack on Rain by... limply flopping her body on top of her?



Wow, that was completely unsurprising. Who the hell fights like that? Haven't you learned anything from the mayhem occuring on a daily basis?



Poppy: GOD SHE IS SUCH AN ASSCLOWN. I hate her SO much.
Good luck. Hey, is that an Ed Hardy hoodie? That's not very alt.
Poppy: It's IRONIC, OKAY??? SHUT UP



Awww, I forgive your bad attitude because you're cute. :)



Poppy: My uncle loves me though!
Your uncle, who you met like... once when he held you as an infant?? I hope you're not desperate enough to try macking on him.



Poppy: NVM, THIS BITCH WON'T SHUT UP



Ryan: What? You don't like my school cheer?
Poppy: NO, MY EAR DRUMS WANT TO JUMP OUT OF MY HEAD AND COMMIT SUICIDE



Ryan: Maybe if I dance harder, she'll be persuaded!
Oh, Ryan. Just stop while you're ahead. :(



RYAN SADFACE #674904168



Good job, Poppy! You're a winner!



OH SHIT. So I was having Israel make a rendezvous with the nanny so they could screw...



...when Shima got a promotion and CAME HOME EARLY! (btw she's in the artist career now, hence the beatnik getup)



Thankfully, Israel hadn't greeted her yet, so the nanny could sneak off the lot. Why is this LTW so hard?



Oh, Azalea is failing school. Does that mean she can be taken away? No? Okay then, I don't care.



Azalea: It's not my fault that school is BORING.
EVERYTHING IS BORING TO YOU! You never have fun and you complain about it all day. SHUT UP!



Rain randomly decides that she feels bad about beating up Poppy every day and apologizes for it. Are those seven nice points kicking in yet?



Poppy: Huh. Wait, seriously? ...Well, okay. Thanks or whatever.



Rain: What kind of a reaction was that? NOBODY'S SNUBBING ME
That's what I thought.



So Violet does this weird thing with her head where she's constantly tilting it, so she looks as if she's constantly side-eyeing people/being condescending. Maybe having nine nice points just means your bitchiness becomes more subtle.



Can we please stop making each other poop stars out of each others' heads??? You all must have lost half your braincells by now.



Poppy: WAHHHHHHH!! WHY IS LIFE JUST SO CRUEL~



Maybe because you both think that violence is the answer to everything? Hmmm.



This girl, Fae, walks by the house and I make Azalea go greet her. I mean, she won't be bored if she has a friend, right? But Fae's not here to make friends. Fae's here to tell off bitches.



Fae: That's right. Walk away.
Azalea: I DIDN'T WANT FRIENDS ANYWAY. FRIENDS ARE BORING.



Then she strikes a pose after putting down Azalea. LOL. I like her already.



Oh please. I'm sure that won't do shit in making her like you.



Azalea ignores my advice and makes grilled cheese sandwiches for Fae anyway... who then goes and picks on Azalea some more. SHE TRIED OKAY



WHAT, YOU WON A FIGHT??? How did you do that? Did Rain trip and fall or something?



In order to bribe them to behave stock them with gadgets, I send the girls to the local store along with Israel.



~ artsy-fartsy parking lot aerial shot ~



All the girls get cellphones since I remembered that cellphones are actually really useful.



I also load up Azalea with the one thing she actually likes: video games! I think MySims is a good choice, because now she can have lots of friends who don't beat her up.



Ohhh, cats... :( It's too soon for a new cat. Maybe later?



Violet wants to buy someone a coffee? Pick Azalea! She needs SOMETHING to do.
Violet: COFFEE?? PSHHH YEAH RIGHT LIKE I'D EVER HANG OUT WITH THIS DWEEBLORD



Violet: psst... but really, want some coffee? don't tell anyone.



Azalea: OH MY GOD YES ACTUAL SOCIAL INTERACTION!!!
Praise baby jesus.



Rain: So like, my grandma was a zombie? And I'm talking like a SUPER killing machine kind of zombie. But she didn't eat my flesh because I'm her favorite granddaughter!
Mmmhmmm, okay Rain, if you say so...



Poppy: Excuse me? Where the fuck is MY espresso shot?
Uh oh, looks like somebody got left out of coffee time. A revelation that I'm really not that shocked to hear.



Really, fighting over coffee? Even the store employees came over to boo Poppy, LOL.



Azalea: slurp This trip is really unexciting.
I'm convinced she lives on a different planet.



LIGHTNING STRIKES TWICE



Why are you still playing at recess when you're sixteen?



Oh no, owned by all the third-graders at school. HOW WILL SHE EVER LIVE THIS DOWN.



In cheater news: Israel finally safely brings the nanny over and gets her to fall in love with him! LOVERS TOTAL: 4 Wait, I forgot that Shima fell back in love with Iz again. LOVERS TOTAL: 5



Remember this totally hot dormie? Miraculously, she's still alive after living in that deathtrap. She likes Israel more than I thought she did so I want them to hook up.



Ten seconds later, I look over and she's dead. NOT FUNNY, GHOSTS.



Israel: I know we don't really get along, but help me out here. I NEED TO BONE THIS LADY, PRONTO



Awww, yeah. Grim knows not to trump the bro code.



Elaine the pretty dormie gets to live another day!



HOLY GOD, WHAT IS THAT ON THE GROUND??



Wilford: MEEEEEEeeeeeeeoooooooooooooOOOOOOOW
YOUR FACE IS HORRIFYING!!!! HELP



Violet and Fae became fast buds (surprise, surprise) and Violet wanted to sneak out with her.



You're no fun! When are teen townies ever responsible?



She died again?! I had the game sound on this time! AGGHHHHHH!!



Once again, no one notices. Poppy and Violet are too busy trying to kill each other while Azalea is preoccupied with VIDEO GAMES!!!



Violet: She's like a rocket... ready to explode and set us on fire with burning fuel.



Shima: THANKS FOR SPENDING ANOTHER TEN GRAND ON ME, LOL
This time the ten thousand simoleons came from the loan jar, so I have to pay interest on the money. So far, Shima is clear in the lead as the most expensive spouse I've had.



WILFORD? She got killed by a GHOST CAT? God, Shima sucks.



That interest won't pay itself, so I'm putting Shima to work! Have fun with that!



Violet: THIS PLACE IS TERRIBLE AND I AM SERIOUSLY GOING CRAZY HERE



I agree. So all of you kids can get the hell out and go to college!



So, we meet again... DEATH DORM.



Ohhhh boy. This is gonna be an interesting year. Well, this means it's time for...

-------------------------------------------

THE GENERATION 5 HEIR POLL! And it took only two months to get here! Like last time, it's up to YOU to decide which awful child claims heirship. It is really, REALLY hard for me to pick a favorite out of this generation. I'm keeping my options VERY open for the poll results. Speaking of which, I liked how pollcode worked last time, so it's making its return!

YOUR CANDIDATES ARE...



RAIN ALMASSY
NOT YOUR RAY OF SUNSHINE
Popularity/Fortune
5|9|7|3|7
+: glasses, red hair
-: creativity



AZALEA ALMASSY
EVERYTHING IS BORING, INCLUDING ME
Family/Pleasure
6|9|4|6|10
+: grey hair, werewolves
-: glasses



POPPY ALMASSY
DESPAIRING DARK DOLLFACE
Popularity/Knowledge
5|8|10|3|3
+: blond hair, logical
-: fitness



VIOLET ALMASSY
ROOTED FOR REGINA GEORGE IN 'MEAN GIRLS'
Romance/Pleasure
2|9|2|3|9
+: grey hair, zombies
-: full face makeup

Who would YOU like to see as heir?
  
pollcode.com free polls 


VOTING WILL END WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 22nd, AT 5PM PST. If you vote after the cutoff time, your vote will not count! Recently I noticed that the generation 4 heir poll accumulated about forty additional votes after the poll had already ended. This isn't to say that you can't pitch in a vote after the poll is over or anything, but it wouldn't count; it'd be just for fun!

Thanks for reading, and I'll see you at the heir announcement!