16 May 2013 @ 09:27 pm
Almassy Legacy [6.6]: The Magic of Love  


Hello hello! I hope you're all ready for VOTING TIME!! I'm super hyped for this round! First though, we've gotta get through one last beefy update! Previously, the word of the day was "cheater" as Poppy and Violet landed on different ends of the infidelity spectrum. Like a few little affairs would change anything! (They really, really didn't.) The kids all hit teenhood and started preparing for the loooong road of infighting and debauchery ahead of them.





In a refreshing change to previous generations, these kids are really interested in dating. Instead of just shipping them right off to college, I figured I might humor them a bit in the romance department!



BLIND DATE TACTICAL STRIKE!



Liam's date is named Kumiko, thus fulfilling this generation's quota for Potential Love Interests with Weeaboo Japanese Names.



Time for Liam to work his smooooooooth moves!
Liam: So this one time I peed myself--



Kumiko: What did you say? That's gross.
Emily: HEY THERE GURL! I NOTICED YOU WERE ON A DATE WITH MY BROTHER, AND I THOUGHT YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT HE IS AN INCONTINENT VIRGIN WITH MOOD ISSUES. OH WAIT, YOU KNOW THAT ALREADY? WELL MY WORK HERE IS DONE THEN



Meanwhile, Violet is trying to score her own date with this guy, but Tristan can't help but ~DISAPPROVE~ every time they interact. I don't think I appreciate all this random butting-in to dates. ):<



Maid: You're with ANOTHER guy? I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING. I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERY TIME I CLEAN YOUR TOILETS
Case in point: the maid is having a lot of trouble with the concept of "leaving Violet alone so she can get it on with the newest dude of the day". He really needs to get over it before I fire him or kick him down the stairs or something.



Liam: Sorry about earlier! My sister is an ugly hag and a big fat liar. Let's just forget about what she said so I can grope your boobs behind the shed!
Kumiko: EEUUUURGH.



LMAO, his poor date. She looks like she's going to run for the hills and never look back.



Liam: BUT WHY AM I BOMBING SO HARD???
Poor little baby. Maybe one day you'll be a big stud! (big maybe)



I was so distracted by the date that I almost missed Grim and his hula crew arrive to pick up Shima. I don't wanna see the end of gen 5! D:





Liam: OMG GRANDMA YOU ARE TOTALLY RUINING MY DATE RIGHT NOW



God I love Shima, even if she was the smelliest, most bizarre spouse I've ever had. Bye, sweetie! Say hi to Israel for me!





Then these two rush over to insult the guy whose grandmother just died. LOL. I love this kid.



Liam: baaaaaawwwwwwwwww
It's okay, just think of all that cold hard cash you're getting!



I don't know what Mr. Dreads' problem is. He just could not stop berating everyone in the house!
Emily: WOAH. You think you're gonna insult MY ass too?



Getting water thrown in your face is one thing, but having Emily get that water by pulling a cup out of her ass? That's DOUBLE humiliation.



Poppy got a promotion, and I was thrilled! Then I saw her work outfit. MAXIIIIIIIIS



Why is Guy kicking water on the maid's car? I don't know. I don't even know why Guy does half the shit he does.





And Liam definitely takes after his dad in that department. Why? Because he walked into the kitchen and proceeded to STARVE TO DEATH FIVE SECONDS BEFORE EATING FOOD.



HOT DOGS: 1, LIAM: 0



Emily: Excuse me, somebody is using his DEAD BODY to block my path to delicious hot dog ecstasy!



Do you have to give him back? You can keep him if you want.



At least Emily can figure out how to cram food into her face.



One day, my sims will understand the concept of personal space.

Today is not that day.



Liam: WAAAAAAH I'M SO HUNGRY
I KNOW YOU KNOW HOW TO EAT, MOTHERFUCKER!



The matchmaker's back again! This time, I'm doing a date-stravaganza so all the kids can stop bugging me for dates every day.



Liam: Why isn't this hot-ass lady paying attention to me?!
Um, 'cause that's actually Tristan's date and not yours?



Girl: That's right! I'M your date! Oooga booga!
OH MY WORD IT'S THAT MONKEY BITCH. Like HELL you're going on a date with her! Go away!



Although it's not like Tristan's date actually likes Tristan any better...



Is that NATE?!!
Emily: WOAH, HOLD UP. Isn't he like my cousin or something? Refund for incest, please.



There, better?



Emily: NO! HE KEEPS STANDING IN MY WAY ON THE STAIRS!!
Yet another person falls victim to the infinitely complex staircase. :(



Yara: Well, I like MY date! He's cute!
Amazingly, Yara is getting along well with her guy!



Really, REALLY well. She's got the pimping gene from her mom!



Yara: So... do you think we should make out? ♥
Jonah: Hearts...farting...can't...resist!!



Awww yeah. GET IT GIRL! Yara in the lead for best teen date!



Tristan: Wait! I want a kiss too!!
Shellie: NO.



Yara and her date move their makeout session upstairs, probably to rub their non-failure of a date in everybody else's faces.



Tristan: GOD WHY AM I SO BAD AT THIS



Yara: Oh my god, she's choking him out! Guy, do something!
Guy: lol nope.
Okay, Guy is trying really hard to be my favorite legacy spouse and I think it's working. He's just so useless, I love it!



Seeing as how Yara's date was the only one who was down with the kissin', Emily tries to cut in by seducing him with all the Fs she got in school.



Jonah: Hey, you kinda remind me of that hot monkey girl!
YOU THINK THAT'S A COMPLIMENT?? YOU TAKE THAT BACK RIGHT NOW



Liam: She is SOOOOOOOOOO hot!!
Well, you don't have any competition for her anymore, trust me.



Liam: *HORK*
In a stunning display of stupidity, Liam waltzes up and spits an enormous loogie on the floor in front of her, like this is supposed to impress her. CAVEMAN! CAVEMAN!!



Shellie: Did that really just happen? Oh my god. Never talk to me again.
Don't step in it on the way out!



Liam: That was so worth it man, she is fiiiiiiiiiiiiine.





WHY ARE YOU PICKING A FIGHT WITH HER IF YOU THINK SHE'S TOTALLY HOT?? YOU ARE DUMB



Then Liam breaks down crying again over his poon deficiency. Yeah, this date is pretty much over...



Good thing beating up Emily makes everything okay!



Going for the double sister wombo combo, are we?



Emily: I'm a WAY better kisser than Yara. I could vacuum your lips right off your face.
Ewww. I think he's into it though.



(Oh, and if you're wondering how Guy and Rain's "affair" is going - they're still at it in a completely obvious fashion!)



Rain: If you wanna impress those girls, you need to kick more ass in front of them. I mean, look what happened with me and your dad!
Liam: Ohhhh! I should've beat up Emily FIRST!
No Rain, bad! Bad advice!



Tristan brought this girl Mabel home from school and wanted to sing a sappy duet with her on the evil karaoke machine. Barf.



NO! HE'S EVEN DOING THE CHEESY DONNY OSMOND SMILE!! YOU'RE KILLING ME, TRISTAN



Guy: Nice singing, you guys! WOOOOOOO! FREEBIIIIIIIIRD!
PLEASE STOP ENCOURAGING THEM



Ohhhh, I'm really not ready for this. :( But I can't make them chug green youth juice forever. They've gotta get old eventually...



Ready to join the ranks of the elderly, Violet?
Violet: Nah, I'd rather screw 'em! (18/20)



Emily really wanted to go on a date with one of the weird bowlcut guys from the teen party. Who am I to deny her sexual attraction to stupid hair?



Emily: Guess what, I'm going on ANOTHER DATE! WITH SOMEONE WHO DEFINITELY KNOWS THE TOUCH OF A WOMAN!
Liam: YEAH RIGHT. I KNOW THAT BOWLCUTS ARE VAGINA-REPELLENT.



(P.S. notice Guy and Rain making out right next to them. Notice Poppy thinking about Guy and Rain making out. Notice that no one in this equation seems to care in the slightest. THE SIMS 2, EVERYBODY!)



Liam: HAHAHAHAHA who needs dates when you can go COUCH SURFING GET IT



Liam: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I HATE MY LIFE
We know, Liam. We know.



Emily: GO AWAY DOG, I GOTTA GET READY FOR MY HOT DATE



Emily: SLURP SLURP
Licking rancid plates is an essential part of the date prep process!



Emily: Sweet, he's here! Smell you losers later!
He's picking you up in a fucking LIMO?



Date: Perhaps you haven't noticed my dopey face or my truly idiotic haircut yet, but basically I need to drive this thing or I'm never getting laid.
Fair enough.



That's Yara's date again, sneaking up to the house in the middle of the night. Got a present for her or something?





Yep, that's... that's a sponge, alright...



Mabel must've really liked that duet with Tristan, 'cause it's not long before they're busy sucking face in the hot tub.



Liam is having a great night himself! Just sitting around...alone...eating a hot pocket...



Having sex in the hot tub? HA! Why don't you eat frozen dinners in the kitchen by yourself like all the COOL KIDS do??



Okay, teens are pretty fun, but I'm ready to get on with business and head to college. (Plus I don't want to see Poppy and Violet get old yet. YES I AM REALLY THAT SCHMOOPY.)



Yep, this looks about right! College brawlorama, here we come!



Emily: I HATE EVERYONE! I DON'T WANNA BE HERE!!
Oh honey, you have more important things to think about now, like ghosts and death and murder milk and--



--wait a minute. You mean... this ISN'T the Death Dorm? Ohhhhh boy.

-------------------------------------------

It's time for... THE GENERATION 6 HEIR POLL! We're finally here! Fifth verse, same as the first: which Almassy kid do YOU want to see as the next heir? I'm definitely very biased this time so I'm curious to see who you guys pick! Also, I know it got a little confusing this generation in regards to who is actually related to who, so you can always take a look at the family tree if you need to.

YOUR CANDIDATES ARE...



TRISTAN ALMASSY
LOOK MA, MORE FACIAL HAIR
Family/Popularity
8|9|6|3|9
+: full face makeup, grey hair
-: fatness



LIAM ALMASSY
HOMO ERECTUS LIAMICUS
Knowledge/Pleasure
2|8|9|4|3
+: red hair, fitness
-: creativity



EMILY ALMASSY
WHO SAYS GIRLS NEED MANNERS?
Pleasure/Romance
2|9|9|4|3
+: fitness, charismatic
-: custom hair



YARA ALMASSY
YOUR SWEET, PRECIOUS PRINCESS
Popularity/Knowledge
2|6|5|3|9
+: hats, witchiness
-: grey hair

Who would YOU like to see as heir?
  
pollcode.com free polls 


VOTING IS OVER!
VOTING WILL END SATURDAY, APRIL 6th, AT 5PM PST. If you vote after the cutoff time, your vote will not count! (You can always pitch in votes later for fun though!) Also important: I realized that I had accidentally created the last two heir polls with a 'once-daily' voting restriction, meaning that you could technically vote multiple times during a voting period. From now on, polls will use the 'once-yearly' voting restriction, so make that vote count! Thanks for reading, and let's see who wins! <3